I haven’t been able to do much blogging lately. It seems as if things have been unbelievably hectic these past few weeks. The pace of ministry has kept me fairly busy this month; in addition to my regular teaching responsibilities in our youth ministry, I was part of a team of adults who led our 8th grade students to Winterfest last weekend in Gatlinburg. I’ve had the opportunity to preach every other week for the past 6 weeks so I continue to try and balance my time between Bible study / sermon prep and ministering to the people of our church (visiting hospitals, shut-ins, etc.). At home, Sunny and I are really enjoying our twin 2-year-olds, but they’re at that age when the demands of tending to them can really drain you. Sunny continues to progress well through her pregnancy, but her energy level is gradually decreasing, meaning more responsibility around the house for Dad. My graduate school load is lighter than it’s been in over a year (only 6 hours this semester), but there are always books to be read and deadlines to be met. To top it off, we’ve sold one house and purchased another this month (we close on Wednesday!!), so any spare moments are spent packing boxes and making house repairs.

As I read back over that paragraph, I’m afraid all of this sounds like I’m whining and I’m really not. Honestly, I’m convinced that the pace of my life probably is no different than anyone else’s. I just say all of that to say that in the midst of all of this chaos, I’ve really neglected my personal time with God. By keeping such a busy pace, I’ve allowed virtually no time for contemplation, meditation or prayer in the past few weeks. As a result, my worship has suffered. This is unfortunate, especially considering we just spent a month with the teens talking about worship. But it seems as if there’s always one more call to take, one more email to respond to, one more meeting to attend. My Google calendar has become my idol. And my life has become one joyless, chaotic whirlwind of activity.

I came to this realization yesterday in the car. At the end of another too busy day, I thought to myself, “Jason, you need some shalom.” Shalom is a Hebrew word rife with meaning. It expresses the concept of peace, of wholeness of life, of God presence. I put in one of my favorite worship CDs and let the music flood over my heart. It had been so long since I’d truly stopped and worshipped. I recalled the Scripture “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you,” and God was quick to keep that promise. In a matter of seconds, I was crying. Ironically, my cell phone rang just at that moment. (I’m beginning to realize that nothing impedes my spiritual life lately more than my cell phone.) But I ignored it and for the next 30 minutes, I drank deeply in the presence of God. And I felt shalom for the first time in a long time.

Father, forgive me for my self-importance and my pride. Forgive me for letting the chaos drown you out. May my life be lived out of the overflow of your shalom. May the song I sing be one of joy and love. May the peace of Christ reign in me, O Father.