Enjoying with Integrity

Posted on October 4, 2026 by Jason

I love this line from the prayer entitled “God of All” in the Puritan prayer book The Valley of Vision:

There is no comfort in anything apart from enjoying thee and being engaged in thy service; Thou art All in all, and all enjoyments are what to me thou makest them, and no more.

I love the idea of “enjoying” God, although I cannot say that this sort of language has been common in my faith experience. I come from a long line of people who were more likely to talk about “fearing” God than to speak of enjoying Him. But this is the framing assumption for the author of the prayer. God is not opposed to our joy. Our greatest flourishing is found by attending to joy: enjoying God.

But the line that most resonates with me is downstream of this one: “all enjoyments are what to me thou makest them, and no more.” Much of the heartache in my life has come from enjoying things beyond their station, from the tunnel vision of fixating here or there for my joy. But the prayer calls me to enjoy things with integrity, to enjoy things in the way God has made them to be enjoyed. There is congruence between our enjoyment of material things and the Maker’s intent for His creation. Pressing these enjoyments beyond their limits violates their purposed design. It’s living without integrity. And all the way back to the Garden, we have been tempted to enjoy things this way — to delight in them without heed of their limits.

Joy is the great gift of God.

He delights when our enjoyment is in line with His intention.

May I find joy in your creation in this way, O Lord.

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Trusting God with Your Doubts

Posted on September 1, 2026 by Jason

Lysa Terkeurst says that if you can trust God with your doubts, you can trust Him with anything. I think she’s right.

When you’re having a hard time seeing the goodness of God in your life, you might have to look more broadly. She recommends looking for His goodness in the small things. Sure, we love it when the “big things” line up just the way we want, but that’s kind of a silly barometer for gauging the goodness of God. Even so, those smaller, daily reminders of His goodness and His provision are there if we have the eyes to see.

She also writes, “Trusting God is holding loosely the parts of my life I want to hold most tightly.” Our impulse — my impulse — is to try and cling tightly, to exert control. Anything less than this feels like quitting. And I wasn’t raised to be a quitter. And yet, how can it be quitting when you’re entrusting it to the Lord? Isn’t that the very definition of faithfulness?

Lysa says, “We can control our choices today, but we cannot control the outcomes of tomorrow.” All I can do is make wise choices today, trusting that God is in complete control.

When we seek control, it usually leads to absolute chaos and increased anxiety. But surrender leads us in the way of peace.

She mentions the practice of saying aloud what she’s surrendering. Verbalizing it this way:

“Lord I surrender this unexpected turn of events.”

“I surrender this disappointment.”

“I surrender my doubts about you or this circumstance.”

“I surrender how sad I feel today.”

One practical way to do this is to pray with your hands open, palms up. It helps us to physically act out that which we are surrendering at a soul level.

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Healed by Mercy

Posted on June 18, 2026 by Jason

One of my favorite stories from the Desert Fathers is about Father Apollo.

A young brother was greatly troubled by the demon of sexual sin and he went to an older man and declared his thoughts to him. When that old man, being inexperienced, heard the brother’s confession, he rebuked him harshly, saying he was unworthy of the monastery since he had entertained such thoughts. And when the young brother heard this, he despaired of himself, left his monastic cell and went back into the world.

But as the Lord would have it, Father Apollo ran into him. When he saw that the younger brother was upset and downhearted, he questioned him, “Child, what is the cause of your despair?” And the younger brother explained what had happened. When Father Apollo heard these things, he encouraged him, saying, “Don’t be surprised at these thoughts, child, and don’t give up hope for yourself. I, myself, even as old and gray-haired as I am, I am still very much bothered by these thoughts. Therefore, do not lose heart when you’re tested by a fire like this that isn’t healed so much by human effort as by God’s mercy.”

And the brother returned to his cell.

According to the Desert Fathers, some temptations cannot be healed by human effort but only by the mercy of God.

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Integrity Defined

Posted on June 10, 2026 by Jason

Integrity is a life in which our words and our actions are congruent. They line up, they reflect one another.

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The De-Centering of Self

Posted on June 8, 2026 by Jason

In our day and age, the gospel can come off as little more than self-improvement. Our increasingly therapeutic culture regularly touts the benefits of mindfulness and gratitude, which certainly aligns with Christian practices of meditation and prayer. In that regard, Christian discipleship can easily be perceived as a helpful step in your journey of self-actualization. Following Jesus can help you “be all that you can be.”

But the gospel is less about self-improvement and self-actualization; it’s more about self-denial and self-forgetfulness. Consider the notion at the heart of Jesus’s great teaching: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Consider also Paul’s framing of the Good News: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” This sounds nothing at all like modern marketing propaganda. Who starts a movement by talking about a cross? If you were going to set out to change the world, would you talk about your own death? This de-centering of self defies all logic — and yet, there it is, at the heart of the gospel.

And the glory of it all is the discovery that this is where true life occurs — not by improving ourselves or achieving our goals but in forgetting ourselves altogether.

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T-Mobile Park Tour

Posted on May 28, 2026 by Jason
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The “I Am Not” Prayer

Posted on May 21, 2026 by Jason

This is my prayer for today, Lord.

I confess that I am not You.

I am not the judge of anyone or anything.

I am not in charge.

I am not responsible.

The burden of decision does not rest upon me.

I am merely a little lamb,
being led
by the Good Shepherd.

And that is enough for me.

Amen.

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Graduation for Jackson

Posted on May 16, 2026 by Jason

We have a new graduate!

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Halfway Through Nursing School

Posted on May 10, 2026 by Jason

This girl is amazing. She’s rocking her way through nursing school — halfway there! The course load she maintains is so difficult, but her hard work is really paying off and she is quickly making her way through these two years of hard training. We are always proud of Abby Kate — I don’t know anybody who is more dedicated and diligent about her studies. So we celebrated the fact that she is 50% of the way through with nursing school with a little cake in her honor. She certainly deserves it after the semester she just endured! Congrats, AK!

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Baccalaureate

Posted on May 6, 2026 by Jason
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