This morning, as the Lord’s Supper was being passed at church, just before the cracker tray made it to our pew, Abby Kate yells out in a full voice, “I WANT A BISCUIT!“
Add yet another one to the file of our funny communion stories.
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Nikolaus Zinzendorf:
Preach the Gospel, die, and be forgotten.
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Castle Heights Military Academy, Lebanon, TN, 1985: fellow male cadet attends church one Sunday morning and upon return to campus is asked if he wants to go get some food. His earnest reply: “No, thanks, I just ate: filled up on the crackers and juice at church.”
I once found a hair bobbing up and down in my communion juice. As a teenager, this was a real moral dilemma for me. What do you do? Drink or not? I don’t mind the body and blood metaphor, but I don’t remember hearing anything about hair being part of this whole thing.The very next week, just before drinking my juice, I looked down to see that my cup had lipstick on it.
I hate lipstick on glasses and cups. I’m sure that Jesus feels the same way (in much the same manner in which I’m sure He’s not a Yankees fan).
I’m pretty sure he’s a Cards fan. But that’s another discussion altogether.
Personally, I think He’s a Kansas City Royals fan, like me. Two reasons: firstly, we always tend to, without an objective anchor, cast God in our own image (as Blaise Pascal said, “God created man in His own image and man returned the favor”), and secondly, Jesus has always had this inexplicable, haunting attraction to hopeless losers.
If that’s the case, then he’s definitely a Cubs fan. Have you not heard, he is a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering? Sorry, I’ll take any opportunity to take a jab at the Cubbies!
I thought this post would foster more discussion re: funny communion stories. Come on, people. I know you have stories…
Dad was speaking in a Revival (although back in those days we called them GOSPEL MEETINGS) in Cleveland, TN. This kid was getting restless and noisy during the Lord’s Supper and his mother told him that if he’d be quiet and still, she’d give him some money so he could give it to Jesus. He was all excited about giving his money to Jesus. He watched as the men began passing the plates and he had his eye on one particular man who was VERY large. This guy was huge. The little boy couldn’t take his eyes off this big man and the plate came from the other direction. His mother held the plate in front of him, nudged him and whispered, “Honey, give your money to Jesus.” He yelled as loud as he could, “I WANT TO GIVE MINE TO THE FAT JESUS!” She finally took him out.
Cindi, that’s hilarious! Our kids are at that same age where they get all excited about giving their money to God. When we first started handing them a few coins, we’d tell them they needed to put their money in the basket when it came by. Joshua misunderstood what we said. For a couple months now, he always asks if he can put his money in “the bucket” when it comes.
Each time the plate is passed, Avery is reminded that she wants her juice and crackers.Also, the first time we gave her money to put in the offering tray, she threw it over her shoulders and grabbed everything that was in there already!Now she turns to face the picture of “Jesus” on the back wall of the auditorium and offers it to him.
Nice. Yesterday (Monday), Gary and I were talking. He was asking me about what I thought about Sunday’s worship service. Allen Jarratt did the communion comments on Sunday and Gary asked me, “Allen did a great job didn’t he?” I had to tell him that honestly, we’re normally just hanging on by a prayer at that point. The kids are crawling all over me and it’s impossible to pay much attention to the communion talk. “Jesus Loves Me” can’t come fast enough!
Last week, after communion, my son said (very loudly) – “Mom, can we have bread and grape juice for supper? I LOVE that stuff!”I wanted to crawl under the pew.