In my previous post, I introduced the five love languages popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman in his best-selling book. With this post, I want to take a look at the example of Jesus in the New Testament. In the Gospels, we see Jesus demonstrating love to others in a variety of different ways.

In fact, you find examples of Jesus speaking all five love languages in His interactions in the Gospels. And we can learn much from Jesus when it comes to loving people well. After all, He is the world’s leading authority on the subject.

Words of Affirmation

There are many examples of Jesus speaking words of affirmation and love. I want to point out two, both of them in the Gospel of John.

John tells a story of a woman who was caught committing adultery. This was a serious offense and the crowd was wanting to condemn her. But Jesus turns them away by telling them they could only cast stones if they were without sin. When the mob dispersed, Jesus spoke to her alone:

Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

John 8:10-11

In a moment when this woman might have expected condemnation, Jesus instead speaks words of life to her. He says, “I don’t condemn you. Now leave this life of sin behind.” What a powerful word! Jesus uses His words to lift her burden and to call her into a different way of being. I would argue this is the most loving thing we could ever do with our words. And Jesus shows us the way here.

Are you using your words to ease someone’s burden?

Later on, just prior to His arrest and crucifixion, Jesus gives these words of encouragement to His disciples: Just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you; remain in my love (John 15:9). In these critical final hours before His death, we see Jesus reminding His disciples that He loves them. I think they already knew this. But Jesus tells them anyway — and He gives us a tremendous example to follow.

Are you telling the people in your life how much you love them?

I bet there are some people in your life who need to hear some words of loving affirmation from you today.

Quality Time

Jesus had a special relationship with the Twelve. But within that larger group, He also seems to have had an even closer relationship with Peter, James, and John. It’s not a stretch to say that Jesus prioritized quality time with these closest friends. Again, just two examples, this time from the Gospel of Matthew:

And after six days Jesus took with him Peter and James and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became white as light.

Matthew 17:1-2

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.”

Matthew 26:36-38

The Transfiguration was a moment of glory; His face shines like the sun and His clothes are dazzlingly white.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus is in agony; He says His soul is sorrowful, even to the point of death.

And in both instances, Jesus wants His closest friends by His side. He prioritizes this time with them — because He loves them.

Quality time requires only two things: being intentional and being present. Is there someone in your life who needs quality time with you?

Acts of Service

When it comes to Jesus, you could say that His whole life was an act of service. And that wouldn’t be wrong. But He also demonstrates love in some very specific ways that He chooses to serve others.

It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.

John 13:1-2 (NIV84)

Immediately following this, Jesus washes the feet of His disciples. This was considered a lowly task, which is why Simon Peter balks when Jesus tries to was his feet. But Jesus does it anyway as a way of foreshadowing what He would do on the cross. Jesus tells us that the cross is His greatest act of service. Mark 10:45, For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

After washing the disciples’ feet, Jesus tells them to wash one another’s feet — a way of saying that His followers ought to be servants.

Is there someone in your life you can serve in love? Of course there is! Think about some ways you can serve them in love this week.

Physical Touch

This is one of my favorite pictures of Jesus from the Gospels: He reaches out and touches those who were considered “untouchable” and “unclean” in His day.

After he came down from the mountain, large crowds followed him. And a leper approached and bowed low before him, saying, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” He stretched out his hand and touched him saying, “I am willing. Be clean!” Immediately his leprosy was cleansed.

Matthew 8:1-3

Imagine how long it must have been since anyone touched this man! Not only was his leprosy highly contagious, but it was considered a sign of divine judgment, a curse from God. But Jesus demonstrates His love for this man by reaching out and touching his flesh and healing him.

So how can we follow the example of Jesus here?

It’s important to point out that we are not advocating for any sort of unwelcome physical touch. We really need to respect people’s boundaries here and allow for the fact that some people do NOT want to be touched.

But there are a few examples that come to my mind:

Your children and grandchildren need the security of your safe physical touch. It has been proven that babies need the security that comes from being held. And as they grow older, our children need hugs and high-fives and fist bumps — your son needs you to get down on the floor and wrestle with him and your daughter needs a hug every day and she needs to be told that she is precious.

Also, I’ve found that older people are in need of safe physical touch, especially those who live alone. Loneliness and isolation can be so strong. And I’ve found that for many older members, church is the only time in their week when someone will shake their hand or give them a hug. That’s hugely important.

Receiving Gifts

This is another one of those where you could say that Christ’s whole life was a gift. And that’s true. But there are a couple of specifics where we see this in Jesus, too:

• The gift of the Holy Spirit He promises to His followers (John 14)
• The gift He gives to Mary from the cross (John 19), asking John to take care of her
• The gift of salvation He freely offers to everyone

Jesus loves by giving gifts. Even a cursory reading of the Scriptures illustrates this.

Is there someone in your life who needs the gift of your concern, your care, your friendship?

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This week, you will be surrounded by people who speak different love languages. Our challenge, as followers of Jesus, is to find a way to love these people well.

As Jesus said in John 15:12, This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.