A lot of our problems arise whenever we don’t understand the difference between the boulders and the backpacks.

Think about the problems that come about whenever people try to carry their boulders on their own. This is the person who refuses to ask for help. Maybe they’re afraid; maybe their pride won’t let them admit that the boulder is too heavy. Either way, they have a boundary problem.

One afternoon, years ago, I was at work and I entered the stairwell heading up to our education wing. And I found one of my co-workers stuck about halfway up the stairs with a huge piece of furniture hoisted onto his back. And he was trying to make the turn there on the landing while this massive piece of furniture was wobbling back and forth.

I said, “Hang on, let me help you.”

And he said, “No, no. I got it. I’m good.”

I said, “Yeah, I can tell you’re in total control here. I’m helping you before you kill somebody with this furniture — either yourself or, more importantly, ME!”

The whole thing was comical. He was trying to fit that boulder into his backpack and it wouldn’t fit.

That’s because boulders don’t fit into backpacks.

And sometimes we do the same thing. We’re going through some awful circumstance and we know it’s too heavy for us. We’re not eating well, we’re not sleeping. But a lot times, we’ll just try to shoulder that heavy burden all by ourselves.

And that’s a boundary problem. That is NOT the life God intends for you to live.

God never intended for you to carry the boulders of life by yourself. You need to find people who can help you, people who can shoulder that burden with you. And this is a biblical command right here in Galatians. If you’re guilty of trying to carry the boulder all on your own, please read over this passage again and think about what God might be saying to you through these words.

And it’s equally troubling whenever someone acts as if their daily load — their backpack — is a heavy boulder they can’t carry.

Whenever someone does this, they are ignoring their own responsibilities. Instead, they assign that responsibility to someone else. They falsely believe that they are so fragile that they cannot carry their own backpack. It’s not a loving thing to do to enable someone in this way.

That’s pretty much what’s going on in the story about John and his parents. His parents have blurred the boundaries to the degree that John has almost no responsibility. He never has to carry his own backpack. But that’s not what grownups do. Mature adults take responsibility for their own actions and thoughts and feelings and decisions. Sometimes spiritual maturity simply means acting like a grownup.

This is why the Bible teaches us that each one should carry their own load.

It is NOT lacking in compassion to expect everyone to carry their own backpack. Someone who thinks their backpack is a boulder is actually in denial. This person needs a reality check.

Personal responsibility is just as biblical as compassion. Jesus holds us to both standards — the standard of compassion for others but also the standard of personal accountability and responsibility.

Understanding the difference between the boulders and the backpacks will help us to differentiate between being responsible TO and being responsible FOR.

Christians have a responsibility TO one another to help whenever someone is facing those boulder-like situations in life. Whenever you’re being crushed by the boulder, it is my responsibility to jump in and help.

But each person is ultimately responsible FOR his or her own actions. I can’t be responsible FOR you, just as you cannot be responsible FOR me. Ultimately, each person will have to stand before God someday and give an account for their own actions — no one else’s. And in keeping with this principle, you have a responsibility to carry your own backpack, even if you think it’s a boulder, just like I have a responsibility to carry mine.

Do you see how this principle of responsibility — knowing who I am responsible FOR and who I am responsible TO — can be helpful as we establish boundaries for ourselves and in our relationships with others?