Another Man: William Bybee

Posted on June 16, 2009 by Jason

The next entry in my Another Man series was devoted to my paternal grandfather, William Bybee. I originally wrote about his influence here, but a year later Granddaddy passed away and I had the highest honor of my ministry career: I preached his funeral. The follow is a copy of the eulogy I prepared for him:

We gather here to remember the simple life of a good man. We are supported today by a faith stronger than death; we are sustained by the hope of a life that extends eternally beyond this place. We gather here to grieve; we gather here to celebrate; we gather here to remember.

William Burford Bybee was born on Oct. 3, 1913 in Jackson County, Tennessee. Over the course of his 93 years of life, the world changed quite a bit. He witnessed two World Wars, the Great Depression, the Civil Rights Movement, the Cold War, 9.11 and men walking on the moon. My grandfather lived a long life, a good life. And we remember the life of this humble man today.

My grandfather learned the value of hard work early in his life. After his father passed away when he was young, Burford and his brother Silas quit school and went to live with various relatives, farming and working odd jobs to help make ends meet. He spent some time in his early years logging and that’s where he developed a love for working with wood. He later worked as a hired hand on different farm properties. He happened to be working in a tobacco field one day when a pretty young lady caught his eye. These things have a way of happening this way; these two took a liking to one another and decided to get married. According to the story, they were working in the fields together one day and they decided to take off to the courthouse in downtown Hartsville to get married. Well, they got all the way down there only to find out the courthouse was closed. So they went back to the tobacco fields and decided to give it a shot the next day. On May 25, 1937, Burford married Miss Hilda Cornwell Hancock and for the next 56 years, they shared the joys of married life together.

Hilda was Burford’s pillar. She was truly the love of his life. Burford and Hilda had 2 children, 2 sons. James Alton was born June 24, 1941; Roger Dale came along on Aug 9, 1944. This was a strong family, a good family. As is the case with most families, the years brought some difficulties. Burford had to bury a son in 1987 when my father, Alton, died at the age of 46. A few years later, grief came calling again when Hilda became ill. My grandfather stood faithfully by her side until her death in 1994. The years after her death were hard ones. Burford grieved her until the day he died. But this family knew plenty of joy as well. At the time of his passing, my grandfather’s legacy consisted of 3 grandchildren and 6 great-grandchildren. In just a few days, the number of great-grandchildren will grow to 7. Granddaddy was certainly the patriarch of our family.

It would be safe to say my grandfather was a simple man. He came from a simpler time when people sought the simple pleasures of life. A front porch and a rocking chair. A lazy afternoon at the fishin’ hole. A warm bowl of beans and a slice of cornbread. Good neighbors. Hard work. Friends. Family. Church. God. These were the elements of my grandfather’s existence. The beauty of his life can be found in its simplicity.

My grandfather also lived with tremendous sincerity of spirit. I can honestly say I never heard my grandfather say an unkind word about anyone. Many of you have told me he was the most Christ-like person you’ve ever known. He was truly a model of authentic, genuine Christianity. The one thing I’ll always remember about my grandfather is the way he prayed. You could tell that prayer was a path he tread many times. I’ve said this before, but the best sermons I’ve ever heard were the prayers he led before our family meals. As a child, I remember thinking Granddaddy’s prayers weren’t like “church” prayers that went on and on with their big fancy words. His prayers were authentic and heartfelt and humble and simple, a microcosm of his life. Even today, I think of my grandfather’s sincerity every time I pray.

It is a comforting thought, indeed, to know that the goodbye we say today isn’t the final word. If we are people of faith, we know that we too will one day pass from this life to the next and we’ll be reunited on that far distant shore with our family and loved ones who have gone before us. And we know that we, too, will be in the presence of these loved ones and the Lord himself for all eternity.

I believe that my grandfather is in the presence of the Lord this day. His faith has become sight; he is in the presence of the One he worshipped and served, the One he prayed to and emulated. I believe my grandfather is also in the presence of his dear loved ones who preceded him in death. I believe he is finally reunited with the son he buried much too soon. And I believe he is reunited with his bride as well. My grandfather passed away on his 70th wedding anniversary. Roger told him that morning what day it was. And then he whispered in his ear, “Daddy, why don’t you go on home and be with your bride? She’ll be there, waiting on you.” Soon after that, Granddaddy took his last breath and passed on into eternity.

If Granddaddy were here today, I know what he would say. He’d tell us to “Be smart.” Those were the last words my grandfather would usually say to us as we were saying goodbye to him. His goodbyes were always sprinkled with “I love yous” and “Come see us again”, but “Be smart” was probably his favorite expression. What he meant by this was live as you were raised. Be the man we’ve taught you to be. I can’t count the number of times he told me to be a good boy. Listen to your Daddy and your Momma. Do right. Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you. Remember who you are. Remember the Lord your God. It was a simple expression, that’s true. But don’t mistake simple for simplistic. For living by faith is never simplistic. I’ve learned over the years that it takes great courage to live like Granddaddy lived. “Being smart” is a lot tougher than it sounds. But as best I can tell, that makes Granddaddy just about the smartest man I ever knew. Because I’ve never known anyone who was more like Jesus. Be smart. These were always his parting words. It’s fitting, then, that these were the last words he spoke to Roger a few days before he passed away. Let them be his last words for us today as well. Be smart.

So today, we commit William Burford Bybee into the hands of his God. We lay to rest a kind and gentle man. A devoted husband. A loving father. A grandfather and a great-grandfather. The patriarch of our family. His legacy to us is a great one indeed. I am proud to be one of his grandchildren. I am proud to bear the name of this great man. I will teach his great-grandsons to be the kind of man he was. And although my heart hurts that he is no longer with us, I join the rest of our family in the hopeful expectation that we’ll all be reunited on that beautiful shore in the sweet by and by.

And we will remember him always.

Posted in Another Man, Granddaddy, Kids | 2 Comments

Another Man: Alan Shates

Posted on June 15, 2009 by Jason

With Father’s Day looming this week, my thoughts always turn toward my own father and the other men who have had a tremendous influence in my life. A few years ago, I came across a quote that stuck with me: “For a boy to become a man requires the presence of another man.” That got me thinking about all of the “other men” in my life and led to a series of posts entitled “Another Man”. Leading up to Father’s Day this year, I’m going to re-post that series this week, along with a few new entries as well.

Here’s the first entry I did in the “Another Man” series, a post dedicated to Alan Shates, my father-in-law:
_______________

I met Alan Shates 15 years ago the summer before my Senior year of high school. Our initial introduction was completely random; my friend Lane and I were driving around and decided to stop by unannounced to visit this girl he used to date. Her dad came to the door, told us she wasn’t there (she was actually at work) and we said goodbye. I would have no way of realizing at that moment that this man would come to mean so much to me.

Alan and his wife, Stephanie, married young and had their children quite early. Consequently, Alan had to work extremely hard to provide for his family, a work ethic inherited by his daughter. When I first started coming around, I was a little intimidated by Alan. (I suppose every boy should feel that way about his girlfriend’s father.) It didn’t help that I drove a Honda Accord and Alan was an employee of the Ford Motor Co. But I knew I was “in” when I had to call him to borrow some cash to pay for dinner on a date with Sunny. (After the check came, I realized I’d forgotten my wallet!) He bailed me out with a chuckle and some kind words: “It happens to all of us, Jason.”

Sunny and her Dad on her wedding day

As the years passed, I developed tremendous respect for Alan. When I decided to propose to Sunny, I sought his approval first. I’m sure they knew what I wanted when I called and asked to come over. Said I needed to ask them something. We sat down in the living room and I stammered my way through my rehearsed speech. I told him I didn’t know how much money I’d make as a minister, but I promised that I would do whatever I had to do to take care of his daughter. But before I could finish, he again spoke words of grace: “I’m not worried about that, Jason. You love each other and the Lord will take care of you.”

I’ve learned much from Alan in the years since I married his daughter. He has a wealth of experience and I’m thankful that he is always willing to share that experience with me. My father-in-law is the “go to” guy for me now. From handyman questions to financial advice to parenting tips, he’s always the first one I call when I have a question. Our relationship was taken to a new level when Joshua and Abby Kate were born. I’ve said this before, but the 9 days Abby Kate spent in the NICU and the 31 days Joshua spent there were the worst days of my life. Again, Alan’s words brought me comfort during those trying days. One of those first few nights, as he and I sat with Joshua outside his little isolette in the NICU, I just broke down. “I’m really having a hard time with all of this,” I said. Alan tearfully encouraged me to be faithful to God, even in circumstances I couldn’t understand. “God’s gonna take care of this little guy,” he told me. He couldn’t have been more right.

Alan, I don’t know if you’ll ever read this. But if you do, this is my way of thanking you for who you are in my life. Your influence helps me love your daughter and grandchildren better. You’re a good man and I thank you for helping me become the man I am today.

Posted in Another Man, Devotional, Kids | 2 Comments

Random Bits

Posted on June 14, 2009 by Jason

A few random bits on a Sunday night:

  • Am I the only one who loves this Wipeout show? I know it’s ridiculous, but I DVR’d a few episodes last week and the show makes me laugh out loud more than any show I’ve watched lately. And I’d love to take a run through the Wipeout Zone, just to see how I’d fare.
  • Is Phil Jackson the best coach we’ll see in our lifetime? The man has won 10 championships in 19 years. This year’s championship is sweet for Kobe, obviously, since he’s proved he can win one without Shaq. But I think it’s also important for Jackson’s legacy; with each of his previous Finals victories, Jackson had at least 2 Hall of Fame caliber players on his squad (Mike and Scottie; Kobe and Shaq). This year, although Pau Gasol is a nice player and all, he’s certianly not in the same class as those other players.
  • For some reason, I also like the Kobe – LeBron puppet commercials. Those things have to be cheap to make; maybe we’ll see them get their own pilot in the fall. Although, I don’t really get this one. What does the NBA have to do with jumping into a car?
  • I’m reading a great book right now: The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Stearns. Stearns, a former corporate CEO and current President of World Vision, argues for a holistic gospel that most evangelical Christians fail to emphasize, a gospel of good news for the poor, the orphaned, and the forgotten. By asking the question “What does God expect of us?”, Stearns presents a whole gospel that moves us beyond altar call “pie in the sky by and by” forms of Christianity to a vibrant engagement with the world to bring the Kingdom of God to the here and now. Read this book.
  • My St. Louis Cardinals were nearly no-hit last night by Cliff Lee of the Cleveland Indians. Of course, if I had the same strike zone that Lee was getting all night, I’d have fared pretty well, too. This week, I’ll have the chance to visit another new ballpark: Nationals Park in D.C. I hear the park is beautiful. We might be the only people in the stands, though. Nats / Jays isn’t exactly a big draw. Actually, Nats / anybody wouldn’t be a big draw. Who knows? Maybe they’ll ink Stephen Strasburg real quick and get him up with the big club. He’d already be their best starter.
Posted in Books, Random, Sports, St. Louis Cardinals, Television | 4 Comments

LOST Season Six

Posted on June 13, 2009 by Jason

LOST fans, click here for Matthew Fox’s comments on the final season of LOST. If you’re really wanting to avoid spoilers, you may not want to read, but I don’t think there’s anything here too spoilerish.

Leave a comment if you want to discuss.

Posted in Television | 5 Comments

Lesser Translations

Posted on June 12, 2009 by Jason

The other day I was at LifeWay Christian bookstore, looking at the Bibles. I’ll do that from time to time; I’m just a Bible junkie I guess. Anyway, while I was there, a young lady was shopping for a Bible with her grandfather. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but the Granddad was one of those loud-talkers. You know the kind; the guy you can hear from 3 aisles over because he has absolutely no concept of volume control. He had this big booming voice and when I happened upon them, he was pontificating about the importance of finding a Bible that his granddaughter could read. “You’ve got to find a Bible that you’ll be able to read and understand,” he said. They were standing in front of a wall of different translations: NIV, KJV, NKJV, NLT, ESV and maybe a few more. The little girl stood just stood there, an overwhelemed expression on her face.

Sensing that she needed some help, Grandpa said, “You’ll probably want to think about either the NIV or the New KJV.” He pointed her to where these two translations were located. “I think you’ll like one of these two the most.”

This seemed to help the little girl, at least somewhat. Instead of an entire wall of Bibles, she was now looking at one or two bookcases full of NIVs and NKJVs.

“Well,” she said, “which translation do you use?”

Grandpa explained that he preferred the New King James, that the original King James was the best, truest translation of the Bible available to man. But the New King James “cleaned up” some of the old antiquated language, like the “thees and thous” that sometimes trip us up. “These lesser translations are okay, I guess. But for my money, sweetie,” he told her, “the KJV is the most authentic translation we have.”

You have to give Grandpa credit; he only said this in response to his granddaughter’s question. He was asked for his opinion and he gave it. And I agree with him that the KJV is a great translation; it has a certain beauty and eloquence that gives the text a regal, almost majestic feel at times. And, to his credit again, he did direct her toward the NIV as well, so she had some options to choose from. But I couldn’t help but wonder if the seeds of what was being sewn in that conversation would come to haunt that little girl over the course of her life. What if she finds the “scrubbed up” KJV to be a cumbersome read? Will she one day feel guilty if she prefers the “readability” of another translation? Will she feel like she’s betraying Grandpa if she someday owns a “lesser translation” like the NIV or the NLT?Worse, will she feel like she’s betraying God?

I don’t know which Bible she decided to get; I finally made it to a part of the store where Grandpa’s voice couldn’t reach me. But I can’t imagine she walked out of there with anything but a New King James Bible tucked under her arm, grateful she hadn’t chosen one of those “lesser” translations, pitying those poor people who were less fortunate.

Posted in Faith, Scripture | 7 Comments

Happy Birthday Jackson Cash!

Posted on June 11, 2009 by Jason

Today our little man turns two years old! It’s hard for me to believe that our baby is now two. I know it’s cliche and all, but time really has flown by these past couple of years.

Jackson, you are an absolute blessing to us. Your energy, your laughter, your smile, even your mischievous nature make this family complete. I’m so thankful the Lord brought you to us, son. Our prayer is that you would live up to your namesake, that you would be strong, that you would show yourself a man, and that you would observe all that the LORD your God requires (1 Kings 2). God has indeed been gracious to us!

Posted in Kids, Video | 5 Comments

Desert Island: Top 50 Songs

Posted on June 10, 2009 by Jason

(You can tell I’m really hurting for blog ideas, huh?)

So the other day, I was bored and I started thinking, “What if I was stranded on a desert island and I could only have 50 songs to listen to for the rest of my life? What would those 50 songs be?” (I also started thinking why every island is a “desert” island. I mean, is there some other kind of island? And how can it really be a “desert” island when there’s all this water around it? I mean, isn’t a “desert” by definition devoid of water? Anyway…)

So I looked over my highest rated songs in iTunes and here’s what I’ve come up with. This was a lot harder than it sounds. But these are the 50 songs I’d want to listen to for the rest of my life.

1. Win One For the Reaper – Michael Giacchino
2. Locke’d Out Again – Michael Giacchino. These are two songs from the LOST Season 1 soundtrack and they’re incredible. One of the best things about the show is Giacchino’s moving score.
3. O Praise Him – David Crowder Band. Crowder at his best.
4. How Great Is Our God – Chris Tomlin
5. Lonesome Dove Theme. Another great instrumental tune.
6. Go To Sleep – The Avett Brothers. Love to hear this live. Gotta see them again sometime soon.
7. Wagon Wheel – Old Crow Medicine Band Show.
8. Rocky Top – The Osborne Bros. Every time I hear this, I feel like I’m back home.
9. Folsom Prison Blues – Cash
10. Fix You – Coldplay
11. Hard To Get – Rich Mullins
12. The Idler, The Prophet, And A Girl Called Rain – Michael McDermott
13. Deirdre Dances – Michael McDermott. He’s one of my all-time faves, but most of you have probably never heard of him. Which is a crying shame. He’s the man.
14. Breathe – U2. The best song on their latest batch of awesomeness.
15. I See A Darkness – Cash.
16. The Mercy Seat – Cash. Without a doubt, the best, most haunting songs from Cash’s American canon. It doesn’t get much better than this.
17. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2
18. Thunder Road – Springsteen
19. Song of the South – Alabama. This song makes me want to roll down the windows in the truck. Don’t ask me why.
20. Daughter – Pearl Jam
21. Better Man – Pearl Jam. Reminds me of my Senior year of high school. Good times.
22. Tennessee Flat Box – Cash. For Dad.
23. Let It Be – Beatles. For Mom.
24. I Walk the Line – Cash
25. My City of Ruins – Springsteen
26. Swept Away – Avett Brothers. The non-sentimental version.
27. The Last Cowboy Song – The Highwaymen. This song makes me think of my Dad; he absolutely loved this album. Actually, I probably owe my whole love of music to my Dad. I was the only kid I knew who had the words to Folsom Prison committed to memory.
28. Imagine – John Lennon
29. If I Had a Million Dollars – BNL. Classic. I need to take Sunny to see them in concert again.
30. Piano Man – Billy Joel
31. She Talks To Angels – Black Crowes
32. You’re The One – Dwight Yoakam. Best country kiss-off song ever.
33. Used to Be – Lost and Found. I have a live version of this song. It’s my favorite song by this great speedwood band.
34. Still Ain’t Over You Yet – Michael McDermott
35. I Go To Extremes – Billy Joel
36. Scenes From An Italian Restaurant – Billy Joel. Can you tell that I’m also a big Billy Joel fan?
37. Ocean of Noise – Arcade Fire. This song has layers and layers of sound. Love it.
38. You Got It – Roy Orbison. Takes me back to Little League and being 11 years old.
39. He Stopped Loving Her Today – George Jones
40. Good Day Sunshine – Beatles. For Sunny.
41. Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd
42. Layla – Clapton. I am seriously in love with the instrumental outro on this song.
43. One – U2
44. The Measure of a Man – Dennis Jernigan. For my boys.
45. Paranoia in B Major – The Avett Brothers
46. Denouncing November Blues – The Avett Brothers
47. Viva la Vida – Coldplay
48. Man of the Family – Mark Erelli. Best song I’ve ever come across that expresses what a young man feels when his father dies. Great.
49. My Weakness – Moby. For my parents.
50. How Deep the Father’s Love For Us – Phillips, Craig, & Dean

How about you, music fans? Which songs would be in your Top 50?

Posted in Music | 3 Comments

New Heroes

Posted on June 10, 2009 by Jason

Today I met a few new heroes.

I sat with Clovis Steele and heard him talk about his experiences teaching school in north Mississippi in the 1960s during the height of the Civil Rights Movement in the United States. Clovis was a man ahead of his time, laboring for racial equality in the heart of the Bible belt where the scars of racial tension still run deep. I looked on as he proudly showed me a picture of his brother-in-law, clad in his pressed military uniform, a young man full of life. I watched Mr. Steele beam with pride as he showed me the purple heart that had been awarded to the family after this young man had been killed in combat in WWII. And I listened as he talked about what a blessing his sweet wife has been to him, taking care of him as his health continues to deteriorate.

I met Mrs. Margie Smith who was celebrating a birthday today. Mrs. Margie didn’t want to tell me how old she was, but I’m guessing she’s in her 80s. But don’t let that fool you; Margie’s. mind is just as sharp as ever. And despite my best efforts to encourage her, Mrs. Smith only wanted to talk about my life; she couldn’t believe how old my kids are getting, she encouraged me to keep preaching God’s Word, she wanted to know what it was like to grow up in Lebanon, TN. Mrs. Margie has had a tough life; her husband passed away 40 years ago; she would later bury a daughter, a son, and both her parents along the way. Through it all, Margie has persevered, thanks in part to a Patton-esque resolve and a wry sense of humor. And I have a feeling I’ll be spending a few more birthdays with Mrs. Margie; she’s showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

I met Diane, a woman who has committed her life to the care of the elderly. I listened as Diane repeated with tremendous attention to detail the various health ailments of a half dozen of her patients, men and women who desperately need the care she provides them. I listened as Diane told me how, as a young sixteen year old, she just knew that she wanted to spend her life taking care of the frail and the forgotten. I watched as Diane’s eyes well up with tears as she asked for prayers for her own mother, a woman who has been dealing with congestive heart failure and a host of other ailments. I held Diane’s hand as we sought Father’s help for her mother and continued strength for Diane and her ministry.

In a society where we deify youth, the elderly are easy to ignore. But I’m convinced more and more that if Jesus were here today, he’d be spending at least a portion of his time walking up and down the halls of our nursing homes and assisted living centers. He’d be with people like Mr. Clovis and Mrs. Margie, salt of the earth people who just need to know they’re not forgotten. And He’d be right there with Diane, encouraging her and equipping her to love a particular subset of the flock in a very special way.

Like I said, I have a couple of new heroes.

Posted in Devotional, Jesus, Social Issues | Leave a comment

Growth Occurs

Posted on June 8, 2009 by Jason

I wrote last week about how much I love being out in our back yard. The family that lived here before us planted so many flowers around the property and this year we’ve done a good job of taking care of them and planting some other flowers to go with them. This is a picture of just one of our roses. We’ve also planted a garden for the very first time. Nothing big, just a few tomatoes, some okra, green beans, and cucumber. One of the things I love doing is going out back early in the morning and late in the evening to water everything. I know this isn’t a profound thought or anything, but the discipline it requires to tend a garden and routinely water our plants parallels our need for regular spiritual sustenance. When my spiritual life feels like a parched, barren wasteland, it’s usually because I haven’t been drinking deeply with God. Certainly Bible study and prayer are a big part of this, but I also have to routinely engage in what Brother Lawrence calls “practicing the presence of God.” Because just as my flowers crave water and sunlight, my soul’s deepest desire is to connect with God, to spend time with Him, to love Him and to be loved in return. When that happens, growth occurs.

“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.” (Isaiah 55:1, 3)

Posted in Devotional, Scripture | 1 Comment

Uh…That Was Weird

Posted on June 4, 2009 by Jason

So I just finished tucking Jackson into bed and I started thinking about our satellite TV service. The company we’re with just increased their rates and I’ve been thinking about making a switch. In fact, a few weeks ago, I even called to talk to a representative to see what they could do for me. As I closed Jackson’s door, I thought to myself, “I need to take another look at that. Switching over would probably save us some money.”

No sooner had the thought entered my mind than my cell phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize, but I decided to answer anyway (which I never do). The voice on the other line was an automated operator just calling from our satellite provider, thanking me for my years of faithful service as a valued customer. Those female computerized voices always creep me out anyway, but this one was extra weird, given the circumstances.

I’m choosing to blame this one on Casper.

Posted in Casper, Humor, Random | Leave a comment