Unclaimed Property

Posted on August 25, 2008 by Jason

Did you know August was Unclaimed Property Awareness Month?

Yeah, me neither.

I didn’t even know we needed an Unclaimed Property Awareness Month. But then again, I guess that’s the point, right?

Check those records, folks. Only one week remaining to become aware of your unclaimed property. I’d hate for you to miss out on that $319 million piece of pie.

Posted in Random | Leave a comment

Check It Out

Posted on August 25, 2008 by Jason

In case you missed it last night, go to Channel 19’s website and check out the Top Story. If you click on the video on the left, you can stream the spot they ran last night about our Law Enforcement Appreciation Day. Sorry for the shameless plug; I’m just really proud of how our church family responded!

Posted in Church, Huntsville | 3 Comments

Fantasy Football Invite

Posted on August 21, 2008 by Jason

There are still two openings in my annual fantasy football league “Of Extraordinary Gentlepersons”. We have 10 teams; if anybody else wants in, go to Yahoo, click “Join a Custom League”, and enter League ID# 113630, password jason.

Draft is Tuesday night, 7PM, so sign up quickly if you’re interested.

Let’s all hope Keller has a better showing in fantasy football than fantasy baseball. This is the year of the Rabid Fleabags, baby!

Posted in Blogging, Sports | 2 Comments

She Said Yes

Posted on August 20, 2008 by Jason

Ten years ago, on August 21, 1998, I asked Sunny to marry me. 

We began dating in the summer of 1995, right as I was graduating from high school. Sunny was a year younger than me in school, so that first year ours was sort of a “long distance” relationship. It wasn’t really (I was at Lipscomb, she was in Mt. Juliet), but we pretty much only saw each other on the weekends. We hated it at the time, but in hindsight, I think that was a good thing. It allowed us to develop a relationship at a leisurely pace without smothering each other. Her first semester of college, Sunny went to Freed-Hardeman, which made things a little more difficult. But I made it to Henderson a couple of times a month to see her that semester. On August 24, 1996, after more than a year of dating, we finally said those special words to each other: “I love you.“
By August 1998, we knew we wanted to get married. I had another year of school and she had another year and a half, but we both kinda knew it was only a matter of time. We were set to celebrate our 2 year “I love you” anniversary a couple of nights early (as a dormitory RA, Sunny had room check-in duties on the actual date) and I figured this was as good a time as any to pop the question. I spent the days leading up to the date digesting as much information as I could about diamond rings. I learned about the 4 C’s (color, caret, clarity, and cut). I also quickly learned about the 5th C: COST. Nevertheless, I finally settled on the perfect ring. I made reservations at a swanky restaurant. I got a haircut. I wrote a poem that expressed exactly how I felt about her. I had the perfect spot picked out at the local park. My plan was for a post-dinner proposal on the bridge at the park with the sun setting across the water. It was going to be perfect. 
Except that it wasn’t. 
As I open the car door for Sunny, I notice my first critical error. Lying on the console, in plain sight, was the business card from Carlyle & Co., the jewelry store where I’d bought her ring. It couldn’t have been more obvious if it were a flashing neon sign. It seems that while dreaming of my blissful proposal scenario, I’d somehow forgotten to put the business card in the glove box. I rush around to my door, hoping to get in and swipe it up before she notices. But I’m too late. As I get in the car, I notice her eyes cutting away, making a point to NOT be looking at the business card. With my cover blown, I wonder if I should just call off the whole thing. Or if I should just propose on the spot. Both options seem lame, so I stick to the plan. While showing her some pictures I’d developed of a recent mission trip, I nonchalantly swipe the card and stick it in my pocket. Maybe all isn’t lost, I think to myself. 
At dinner, Sunny is noticeably beaming. She has this smile that she can’t seem to wipe off of her face. I know she knows about the business card. But I desperately want the engagement to be a surprise. I’ve always avoided doing the big stuff on the days when she would expect it. Like, I’d send her a bouquet of flowers on Feb. 13, because she didn’t expect them then. Stuff like that. Only this time, on the big day, I’m actually going to do something special. Which will surprise her. Which is the whole point. Only now she wont’ be surprised. She’s expecting it. And it’s killing me. I’ve ordered a sirloin, but I can barely eat. This is not going according to plan. 
Until…a thought. She knows about the card, so she knows I’ve been ring shopping. No avoiding that. But does she think I’m really stupid enough to leave the card out in plain sight on the night I’m intending to propose? Little does she know I really am that stupid. But if I can make her believe I’m not, then I’m back in the game. I decide to go for it. 
“Sunny, I have something I need to tell you.”
“OK,” she says, her face getting flush. She’s still beaming.
“I know you saw the Carlyle & Co. card there in the car tonight. I didn’t want you to see that, but I guess I’d better just go ahead and tell you. I went to look at rings the other day. I was really wanting this to be a special night and all. And I know we’ve been talking a lot about getting married. But, honey, I have to be honest: I had no idea how much those engagement rings cost. I realized I didn’t quite have enough money to be able to get you the ring I wanted, the ring you deserve. And so, I just wanted you to know that. I’d hate for you to get your hopes up just because you saw that business card in the car tonight.” 
She says all the right things, but I can tell she’s deflated. She assures me it’s not a big deal, that she understands. A few minutes later, she excuses herself to the bathroom. When she comes back, I can tell she’s been crying. And I’m back in the game, baby! (Not surprisingly, my appetite came back, too!)
But I wasn’t quite out of the woods yet. My second critical error was miscalculating when the sun would set. As we head out to the car, I realize I won’t have time to make it all the way to the park. Time for another audible. There was a swing at Lipscomb that was really special to us; it was a place we would sit together and talk and pray and dream about our lives together. The more I think about it, this is way better than the park anyway. I glance at my watch; I should have just enough time to get her there before sundown.
As we near the car, I say, “Well, I do have one surprise for you.” I pull out the cloth napkin I’ve stolen from the restaurant and I blindfold her. I tell her I have a special place to take her, but I don’t want her to know where we’re going. I get her back to campus and get her out of the car and walk her to the swing holding her hand. I remember her being so worried that I was going to let her trip or fall down! I finally get her seated in the swing, still wearing the blindfold. I take out the ring, get down on one knee and I’m just about to speak when…a girl comes around the corner walking her dog! I’m thinking, “Get out of here! Can’t you see what’s going on here! Don’t you know how many times this thing has been hanging on by a thread! And now it’s all going to be blown by you and your dog!” She sees us and instantly stops in her tracks. She gives me a smile, turns quickly and walks in the other direction. Final crisis averted. 
I tell Sunny that it’s time for her to remove the blindfold. When she does, her eyes meet mine first. She gives me a warm smile because she knows this is “our swing” and I think for just a moment she’s impressed by my sweet attempt to redeem what has been for her an otherwise depressing night. She doesn’t realize that she’s looking past something, something I’m holding out in my hand. A moment passes and I glance down at the ring and then back to her eyes. I look back at her just in time to see her countenance light up again as she sees the ring in my hand. I soak up the moment before pulling out my poem and reading it to her. In the final line, I ask her to marry me. The final verse belongs to her; her response determines whether the poem is a comedy or a tragedy.
Ten years later, I’m still thankful she said yes.
Sunny, I’ll never get tired of telling that story. And I’ll never get tired of you. Thank you for loving me. And thank you for saying yes. 
Posted in Sunny | 1 Comment

Snakes and the Dangers of Channel Surfing

Posted on August 18, 2008 by Jason

So I go to pick up the kids from school today and as soon as Joshua gets in the van, he turns to the teacher helping him get loaded and he goes, “Hey! We have to go and get a snake and pee on it.”

The teacher says, “What?”

“We have to go and find a snake and pee on it and put it around our neck. That’s what my Dad told me.”

The teacher looks at me, eyebrow cocked.

“I have no idea what he is talking about,” I say.

“Yeah, right,” she says with a wry smile as she shuts the door.

I turn to Joshua, who is standing there grinning from ear to ear. “What was that all about?”

He continues, “We have to go find a snake and pee on it. Then we put it on our necks. You know, like the man in the desert on TV.”

Then it hit me. The other day, Joshua and I were flipping through the channels while the ball game was on commercial. We came across this show called Man vs. Wild where this guy goes out in the middle of nowhere with a camera crew and basically tries to not die. Anyway, in the 2 minutes of the show we saw, the guy is roaming around in the desert and he skins a snake, ties a knot in the skin, pees inside it and then wraps it around his neck to keep himself from dehydrating or something. It seems this was a formative viewing experience for my young son.

Let this be a lesson to you, folks: Never channel surf during the commercials.

Posted in Humor, Kids, Random, Television | 4 Comments

Joshua’s Sixth Sense

Posted on August 17, 2008 by Jason

Tonight, a sports highlight came on the TV while Joshua was in the living room. He turns to me and says, “Look, Dad. The A’s and White Sox.“

He was right.

He’s four years old.

I’ve never been prouder.

Posted in Baseball, Kids | 2 Comments

Things I Don’t Get

Posted on August 16, 2008 by Jason
  1. Why my kids insist on watching Christmas sing-a-long videos in the middle of August. Seriously. I guess they come by it honest.
  2. Why my wife is obsessed with Jon and Kate + 8. Can someone please explain the appeal of this show to me? After wrestling with our kids all day long — after fixing all the meals, refereeing all the fights, changing all the diapers, cleaning up all the messes, etc. — my wife will rush to the DVR to watch a 30-minute episode of people doing the exact same thing. It’d be like me watching a show about a guy putting together a sermon. I don’t get it.
  3. The big sunglasses trend. Most women’s sunglasses these days could pass for welding masks. What’s with the massive, Liz Taylor shades?
  4. How is this Michael Phelps guy this good? Rootin’ for you tonight, kid.
  5. While I’m at it, I don’t get anything that comes out of this guy’s mouth.
  6. Why is this news? It’s a bear suit stuffed in a freezer; why are we talking about it? (Finder’s fee goes to Trey on this one.) Incidentally, my Dad would’ve loved this kind of thing.
  7. Fashion.
  8. Why is the Civil Forum on the Presidency at Saddleback airing opposite of the Olympics? Couldn’t we have done this a couple of weeks ago? Thank goodness for the DVR.
  9. Preseason college football rankings. What’s the criteria here? Didn’t we learn anything last year (ahem, Michigan?). I know all you Auburn fans are with me, right?
  10. Why the Cards continue to keep Adam Wainwright on assignment in the minors. We could use him right now, Mozeliak. It’s not like we’re fighting for a playoff spot or anything!
Posted in Christmas, Humor, Kids, Olympics, Politics, Random, Sports, St. Louis Cardinals, Sunny, Television | 2 Comments

"Daddy, I Want to Listen to Coldplay!"

Posted on August 14, 2008 by Jason

Spoken by my daughter, to me, as we were riding in the van today.

I was all-too quick to oblige.

Her fave? “Viva la Vida”. Which is all well and good until she starts asking for an iPod.

I play “Fix You” for her. It’s our song.

Posted in Kids, Music | 5 Comments

Nine and Counting

Posted on August 14, 2008 by Jason

Nine years ago today, I married my best friend. Back then I couldn’t have imagined just how great the ride would be. Sunny, you deserve so much more, but I’m so thankful that we get to share life together. The past nine years have been the best years of my life; I can only imagine how rich the years to come will be. I love you more than I can adequately express. You’re the best mother, the best wife, the best person I know. Happy anniversary, baby!

Posted in Blessings, Sunny | 1 Comment

Drive-Thru Etiquette

Posted on August 12, 2008 by Jason

So tonight was Bunco night. Which means Sunny didn’t cook. Which means that I had to gird up my loins and venture out into the wild bearing the traditional mantle of the hunter-gatherer, seeking sustenance for my progeny. I hopped into that most ancient of transportation devices — the mini-van — and braved the elements until I found a lush locale with provisions aplenty to feed my brood.

More succinctly, I went to Wendy’s.

My conversation with the drive-thru girl got me thinking about fast food etiquette. Allow me to explain.

I pull up. Before I even have my window down, I’m asked for my order by a less-than-chirpy disembodied voice. I say, “Yeah, can you give me just a second, please?” Silence. After I find what I’m looking for, I say, “Okay, I’m ready if you are.”

Silence.

“Hello?”

“Go ahead,” the voice growls at me.

“Okay. First, I need a kids chicken nugget meal with fries and a chocolate milk. And…(I pause to give her time to register my order)…I also need…”

“Will that be all?”

“Uh, no,” I reply. Now, I’m not a linguistics expert here or anything, but I’m pretty sure that on most planets when you begin a sentence with, “First, I need…”, it’s a fairly common assumption that this statement will, quite naturally, lead to a “Second, I need…” or a “Next, I need…” or an “Ergo, I also need…”. But I digress.

“Uh, no,” I say. “I also need a kids burger meal with fries and a chocolate milk. And…(another pause for her to enter the order, though this pause is briefer than the first one)…finally (said with emphasis to clearly designate my ordering period is well nigh complete) I need…”

“Your total is $6.73. Please drive around.”

“But wait, I’m not done ordering yet,” I say, clearly agitated but not wanting to express too much rage lest my Single with cheese come with a side order of loogie.

“Keep going,” says the disembodied voice. No “my bad”. No “oops”. No “sorry”. Just “keep going.”

“I’d like a #1 meal with fries and…(I pause for, like, a millisecond while I deliberate my drink order)…”

“What to drink?”

Again, I’m no expert here. But I’m pretty sure that’s not a sentence.

“Coke,” I said. “And that completes my order.” Yeah, I’m definitely getting that loogie after all.

So, I have a little project for you, intrepid readers. Let’s compose a Drive-Thru Etiquette Manifesto. This is your chance to vent. What are your drive-thru horror stories? Your pet peeves? Time for catharsis, people.

Tired of being stiffed on your napkins! Use your voice right here!

Do you hate it when they “accidentally” drop your coinage out the window, knowing that you’re not going to get out and get it? Me, too!

Exasperated by always being the guy that has to pull forward and wait “just a sec” for your fries! No more! (This always happens to me, by the way.)

Sick of leaving the parking lot only to find that your beverage, rather than the refreshing soft drink you ordered, is actually that disgusting carbonated water stuff! You’re not alone!

When we’re done you can storm your (least) favorite fast food eatery and nail our Manifesto on the door.

Come together, people! Let your voices be heard! Viva Revolution!

Posted in Humor, Random | 21 Comments