Steven Wright is the funniest man alive, in my opinion. I came across a copy of his I Have A Pony CD a few years back. Absolutely the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. I found this collection of some of his Wright-isms. Click here to check ’em out. My personal favorites:
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
- A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
- I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?”