All right, first of all, I have no idea what Paula was talking about. I don’t know how you get so mixed up that you think Jason sang twice.

Neil Diamond? Who comes up with these themes? Could we find a less relevant star to showcase? I’m waiting with bated breath for the Captain & Tennille mentoring episode. I actually miss the genre weeks (country, pop, etc). Wish they’d bring those back.

As for the episode, I felt like the whole thing was too rushed. And the whole “save the judges comments to the end” thing…yeah, that really worked well. I thought most of the first performances were pretty weak and pretty much all of the second performances were much stronger. Here are my thoughts:

Jason: I thought his first performance was very recordable; when he does his guitar, Jack Johnson thing, I think it works. But his second song was just brutal. No personality, no vocal richness. He might be in trouble and I can’t say it’s undeserved.

David C: I wasn’t overwhelmed by his first performance. It was, as Randy would say, just a’ight. But song #2 proved why he’s the most creative and ambitious of these performers. Hands down, he’s the total package. No way he beats the Archuleta machine, but I wish he would.

Brooke: How’d I know she’d sing “I’m A Believer”? (Which was, by the way, maybe the most wooden, joyless performance of the season.) Her second song was just beautiful, but I hope it was enough to make people forget that clunker of a first song. I find myself rooting for her, despite my early remarks about her vocal range. What can I say? I’m going soft.

David A: Neither of his performances blew me away. But it doesn’t matter. The only way he doesn’t win this whole thing is if he has a severe acne outbreak the night of the finals. Even then, he’ll probably squeak by. Why bother commenting on his performances?

Syesha: I was secretly rooting that this would be the week she would go home. But I think she demonstrated the most consistency tonight. I didn’t just LOVE either song she did, but they were both really good. I don’t think it’d be fair for her to go home because she had two good outings tonight.

If I had to guess as to the Bottom Two, I’d say Syesha and Jason. I really think it ought to be Jason; he’s had two poor weeks in a row. And Syesha just doesn’t have any quit in her. So I’m saying Jason goes home in another “shocking” results show.

FYI, I won’t be doing an American Idol post next week, but I trust that you’ll somehow find the strength to get by without my biting commentary. Lane, maybe you can pick up the slack for me.