Not Knowing

Posted on November 27, 2024 by Jason

I wrote this a few years ago about going and not knowing, which is the essence of faith.

Going and not knowing
Posted in Blogging, Devotional, Disappointment, Faith, God, Hope, Scripture, Theology | Leave a comment

Surprised I Can Still Do This

Posted on November 11, 2024 by Jason
Posted in Blessings, Family, Humor, Kids | Leave a comment

On Despair and Hope

Posted on November 8, 2024 by Jason

In the wake of Donald Trump’s re-election this week, many people I know are exuberant. That’s probably not surprising, given that I live in a military town in a “red” state. Folks around here are generally conservative by nature, both politically and morally. There tends to be a fairly deep alignment with Republican candidates on the issues that matter the most to many of the people I know and love.

On the other hand, I also have many friends whose opposition to Trump runs deep. For some, this is largely due to his rhetoric; for others, it has more to do with certain policy positions he holds; for others still, January 6th was a deal-breaker and they voted accordingly. I also have many friends whose values align more closely with the policies championed by the Democrats during this election cycle and that was the determining factor in their vote.

I don’t mean any of this to be a critique of either side — not in the least. I’m simply trying to carefully describe my perception of what my friends are feeling.

But one thing I have noticed is the sense of despair many of my fellow citizens seem to be experiencing in these days. That was probably inevitable in an election that was as contentious and as accusatory as this one. We’re exposed to an incredible amount of propaganda during these campaigns and no matter the outcome of the election, many of us were bound to feel this way.

But I also believe that the level of despair some are feeling reveals the absence of a greater, more meaningful narrative in their lives. (If you’re reading this, you probably know that I’m a preacher, so I’m about to preach — you’ve been warned.)

I believe that, at our core, we are spiritual beings. I believe we are creatures — meaning we have been created, intimately and lovingly designed by a divine Creator in whom we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28). I believe we were made in the image and likeness of this Creator (Genesis 1:26-27) and that this image is most fully expressed in loving community. I believe that our Creator has set eternity in our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11), which is the animating impulse behind our quest for meaning and purpose. But I also believe that this purpose is only understood in light of the purposes of the Creator God. My faith tradition is not “creedal” per se, but the Westminster Confession pretty much nails it, in my view: “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him, forever.” Or maybe you prefer the words of another preacher, from Ecclesiastes again: “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man,” (Eccl. 12:13). This is our telos, the purpose for which we were created.

So what happens when we reject this “chief end?” What happens when we deny the claim that the Creator has appointed and purposed our lives down to the level of living and moving and being?

In the absence of God’s grand narrative of eternal purpose, we seek to create these for ourselves. We ascribe outsized meaning to some lesser ideals. We will try like mad to make the finite infinite. We find some other purpose for which to live and we devote every ounce of our moving and being toward this aim.

And inevitably, this aim proves unsatisfactory.

In the end, we are met with the grim reality of our idolatry (yes, it is idolatry). We are forced to reckon with the truth that our self-created telos falls woefully short of satiating the deepest desires of a heart set on eternity.

When you buy the lie that the sum of life is to “eat, drink, and be merry,” you reach a point when you realize that wall-to-wall hedonism isn’t a grand enough purpose for a human life. And then you despair. Why is it that we’re never satisfied with indulgence? It’s because we were made for more.

Or when you convince yourself that “he who dies with the most toys wins,” you eventually reach a point when you realize that death comes for us all. Materialism is wholly unsatisfying as well — because we were made for more. Your heart ultimately rejects this as an unworthy telos.

And when you believe that activism is your highest purpose — when you succumb to the siren song of the ultimacy of the political process — you reach a point when you begin to question whether the utopia you’re striving for is even possible in this broken world. And when this happens, despair follows quickly thereafter. And I think that’s what some are feeling and expressing right now.

This simply reveals the truth of our lives, the bold claim of our Creator whose song is strange and gentle and gracious: you were made for more.

When we accept any claim other than this, we set ourselves up for despair. But even in the despair, there is hope — the hope that in our dissatisfaction we will continue the quest for eternal significance.

This is my theological interpretation of the despair some of us are feeling in this moment.

The despair itself is evidence of the false narrative we have consumed. And this false narrative manifests itself in a number of unhelpful ways.

Take, for example, the claim that we’re hearing from many on the left in the wake of the election: Donald Trump’s victory is proof that Americans are racists and sexists.

I’m no political science major, but I know enough to know that people have myriad reasons for why they choose to vote (or NOT vote) for a particular candidate. Almost everyone I know weighs their vote with great solemnity, examining the policies and positions of a candidate before they cast their vote. It is both simplistic and insulting to reduce those reasons down to a simple line like, “If you voted for Donald Trump, you’re a racist / misogynist / fascist / fill-in-the-blank slur.”

The great irony I see is that many who are making these accusations are actually guilty of racism and sexism themselves. If you voted for Kamala Harris solely on the basis of her gender, this is sexism. Likewise, if you voted for Kamala Harris solely on the basis of her race, this smacks of racism. Of course, as I just said, I understand that people have myriad reasons for why they vote for certain candidates. But it just seems incredibly hypocritical to accuse one side of the most egregious sins of humanity without also taking a look in the mirror to see if you might be guilty of the same thing.

All of this is in conflict with our telos, the purpose for which we were created. God is comprised of an eternally loving relationship of persons: Father and Son and Spirit. That is why God is most fully imaged in the context of loving community: persons committed to God and to one another in mutual understanding and self-giving, sacrificial love.

Anything short of this leads to despair.

But when we align ourselves most fully with the purposed will of our Creator and live in love with Him and our fellow image-bearers, we live with hope — a hope in a Kingdom which cannot be shaken (Heb. 12:28), a hope in an eternal inheritance which can never perish, spoil, or fade (1 Pet. 1:4-7); for those who hope in the Lord will have their strength renewed — they will soar on wings like eagles, running but not growing weary, walking but never growing faint (Isa. 40:31).

Sermon over.

Don’t give in to despair.

The Good News of Jesus is a word of hope.

Posted in Anxiety, Blessings, Culture, Disappointment, Eschatology, Faith, God, Gospel, Hope, Jesus, Kingdom Values, Politics, Race, Scripture, Social Issues, Theology | 1 Comment

Essential

Posted on November 1, 2024 by Jason

We’re days away from the most important election of our lives.

At least that’s what we’re told.

On Election Day, I’ll be 48 years old. By my count, this is about the 7th or 8th time in my adult life that I’ve been told, “This is the most important election of your lifetime.” I guess it’s at least theoretically possible that I’m living in a time of escalating political importance and each vote I cast is indeed the most important one so far.

But I also can’t help but think that all of this propaganda is destroying our souls.

Look, I have some strong feelings about this election. I’m probably a lot like you: I have a couple of issues that are really important to me and those issues will determine the direction of my vote on Tuesday. I’m of the opinion that we have been given some tremendous freedoms in this country and I feel an obligation to steward my vote in a way that reflects my personal values as a citizen of the United States and, more importantly, as a follower of Christ. I also think of my mother, nine months pregnant and a couple of days past her due date on November 2, 1976. She fulfilled her civic duty by voting early that morning — and by that evening, she had given birth to a healthy baby boy (yours truly). If my Mom could go out and vote before giving birth to me, I’m thinking I want to follow in her footsteps and steward my vote responsibly as well.

So with that being said, I find myself returning to a simple thought in these final days before the election. It’s a thought that helps with the pervading anxiety accompanying this election, one that cuts through all the gloom and doom prognosticating that corresponds to a high-stakes election. What will happen if he / she wins? How will the country survive? How will we make it through his / her administration? Such thoughts are surely dominating our minds these days.

The thought I return to is really a question: What do I consider to be essential?

Is it essential for my candidate to win?

Is it absolutely essential for my side to prevail, for my views to carry the day?

Is victory for my side essential to stave off the end of democracy? To preserve the republic? To stem the tide of the inevitable apocalyptic meltdown if the other side wins the day?

I’m thinking it’s not.

As I try to follow Jesus in these days, I’m reminded of what Paul says repeatedly throughout his letters: the matters of first importance — Christ crucified, buried, and raised — are truly essential. Everything else — and I mean everything — is ordered around this principle.

And that eternal truth changes my perspective. It affords me a reprieve from the anxiety-inducing talking heads. It offers language which transcends the divisiveness of our political discourse precisely because it is grounded in an eternal kingdom of peace. If I believe what I say I believe, then that peace serves as a guide. That peace controls my response when one side labels the other as “fascist” or “garbage” or this or that. The promise of an eternal kingdom offers an unshakeable hope whenever the siren song of despair fills my ear and my heart. And that hope floods my heart like light from a far distant shore, permeating the darkness and her seductive cries of death.

And I believe that whenever this is modeled, the world takes notice, because the world has always taken notice of this hopeful witness which points to a kingdom not of this world. This is just as true today as it was two thousand years ago when the gospel began to turn the world upside down.

Acts 17:6-8

And when they could not find them, they dragged Jason and some of the brothers before the city authorities, shouting, “These men who have turned the world upside down have come here also, and Jason has received them, and they are all acting against the decrees of Caesar, saying that there is another king, Jesus.” And the people and the city authorities were disturbed when they heard these things.

The great irony is that the truth that disturbs the world is the same truth that gives us eternal peace.

There is another king.

Not Caesar.

But Jesus.

This — and nothing else — is essential.

May God be with us all.

Posted in Anxiety, Culture, Devotional, Eschatology, Faith, Gospel, Jesus, Kingdom Values, Mom, Politics, Scripture, Social Issues, Stewardship, Theology | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Carrying the Grief

Posted on October 20, 2024 by Jason

I read a poem the other day by a writer named Liz Newman. She talks about missing someone as an experience of simultaneously carrying both grief and love. When you think about it, grief and love come from the same place. You only grieve the loss of that which you loved. To that end, Newman opens her poem with the line, “I carry the grief with me.” I know what Newman means; grief is hauled, not easily laid down, always brimming just beneath the surface. I know because I am carrying some grief of my own.

Today is the 37th anniversary of my father’s death. In so many ways, it seems like another lifetime ago, almost as if losing him happened to someone else, not me. But then again, I’ve been carrying around this grief for as long as I can remember. Probably always will.

This is the only digital picture I have of my Dad and me. All the others are tucked away in photo albums and have yet to be scanned for posterity. I think I was nine years old here. If my memory serves, we took a trip to the Smoky Mountains prior to my sister’s wedding and I think that’s when somebody took this picture of the two of us. I love this picture, but it also makes me incredibly sad. We didn’t know it at the time, but the cancer that would eventually take my dad’s life was already beginning to grow in his body. When I look at the child in this photo, I see a young boy full of joy and optimism, unacquainted with the terrors of the world. Which is to say, I see a person I don’t much recognize. I look at this picture and I grieve for what both of us have lost since this photo was taken. In a matter of months, his strength would be sapped and his voice would grow quiet while I would come to the grim reality from which we try to shield all children: that this world can be dark, cold, and harsh.

I find solace in my faith, in the promise of reconciliation with my father on the other side — the hope of glory as Paul says. But in that waiting, when grief seems overwhelming, it also helps me to recognize that my grief and my love come from the same place. And as I continue to carry my grief — even if my grief swells to the surface from time to time — this is simply evidence that my love for my Dad abides within me to this day. Maybe that’s why it feels good to remember, even if it’s painful — because getting in touch with the grief is one of the only ways I can get in touch with that love. This is why Newman continues her poem with a matching stanza, “I carry the love with me.” To carry grief is not simply evidence of that which you have loved; it is also evidence of that which you continue to love. And this is one of the only things I’ve found that actually helps when I find myself in the throes of sorrow. This recognition allows me to be gracious with myself as I grieve, for in that grief is love.

To carry the grief is to continue carrying the love.

And so tonight, I grieve.

Love you, Dad.

Posted in Dad, Disappointment, Eschatology, Faith, Family, Hope, Poetry | Leave a comment

2024 MLB Playoff Picks: Championship Series Round

Posted on October 12, 2024 by Jason

I’ve really enjoyed the postseason so far and it’s always fun making these picks with Sunny and Joshua. After the Wild Card Round, Sunny was 3-1; I was sitting at 2-2; and Joshua was bringing up the rear at 1-3. But things really changed in the Divisional Round. Here are the current standings:

Jason: 4-4

Sunny: 3-5

Joshua: 3-5

This just proves the variability of postseason baseball, I guess. This game will drive you crazy. After coming out of the blocks strong in round one, Sunny went 0-4 with her picks this time. We all thought the Padres and Phillies had the mojo to advance, but this Mets team has been hot for months and even a banged up Dodgers team is pretty formidable. On the AL side, the Yanks and Guardians are the #1 and #2 seeds for a reason.

Here are our picks for the next round:

Mets vs. Dodgers

Jason: Dodgers; Sunny: Dodgers; Joshua: Dodgers

Which means the Mets will win, naturally.

Guardians vs. Yankees

Jason: Yankees; Sunny: Guardians; Joshua: Yankees

I think the Yankees will win but for the sake of my friend, Jon Wood, I’d like to see Cleveland advance.

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Boundaries in Families, Part 3

Posted on October 9, 2024 by Jason

Within our families, we are trying to balance being connected with standing separately. Psychologists refer to this as self-differentiation. This is when I can voice my own thoughts or views, even if they’re different than yours. And yet, while doing this, I still maintain my connection to you. Our difference of opinion doesn’t have to take precedence over the relationship. What binds us together isn’t the fact that we agree on everything. We’re bound together by something greater: the unconditional love we share for one another as family.

The degree of health in a relationship can be defined by the degree of self-differentiation in a relationship.

The idea is that we should have appropriate boundaries but also maintain an appropriate level of connection. We’re balancing being an individual with being a part of the group.

There is a real danger whenever we get this out of balance.

Whenever you’re too individualistic, you act out of self-interest. You become selfish.

But whenever you’re too enmeshed, you easily lose sight of your own identity. You have no sense of self.

And both of these are boundary problems.

The goal is to balance your individuality along with being part of the group. That’s the essence of being a family.

You can see this in the relationship between God the Father, God the Son, and us. Look at what Jesus prays in John 17:

John 17:20-22

My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one…

The Father and the Son are one; they are connected. Yet they are also distinct; they function as individuals in the relationship. They have a unifying connection but the Father is NOT the Son; the Son is NOT the Father. And through Jesus, we are brought into this abiding connection — we are connected to God and to one another. Yet, we remain distinct from one another as well.

God intends for all of our relationships to operate in this way.

One of the most common boundary problems in families is what is referred to as “triangulation.” A triangle is, of course, made up of three sides. Relationally, we’re talking about the occurrence of one person attempting to create a “triangle” of two-against-one. It’s when a person uses a third party to manipulate or influence someone. You have an issue with one person but you go to another person to try and recruit them to your side.

Some examples from the Bible which have to do with family:

  • Genesis 27:1-13 — Isaac has two sons, Esau and Jacob. Isaac says to Esau, “I’m going to die soon, so I want you to go hunt for some game. I want you to prepare a big meal and then I will give you my blessing.” But Rebekah, Isaac’s wife, conspires with Jacob to deceive Isaac. Rebekah and Jacob team up against Dad in order to get their way. This creates a rift in this family which lasts for years.
  • Luke 10:38-42 — Martha is upset because she’s running around the house serving but her sister, Mary, doesn’t offer any help. Instead, Mary is spending time with Jesus. So what does Martha do? She complains to Jesus and tries to enlist Him to her side! Classic move: anytime I can get Jesus on my side, you lose. Martha creates a triangle — or at least she tries. But based on His response, we can see that Jesus doesn’t approve of this.

Think about some of the ways this plays out in families today:

  • Siblings conspiring together against another sibling.
  • Parents triangulating their children against their spouses.
  • Divorced parents recruiting the kids to their side.

One of the best ways to safeguard against this is to obey the biblical teaching about direct communication.

Leviticus 19:17

You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him.

Matthew 5:23-24

So if you offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 18:15

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

Posted in Boundaries, Faith, Family, God, Jesus, Kingdom Values, Marriage, Preaching, Scripture, Sermon on the Mount | Leave a comment

Boundaries in Families, Part 2

Posted on October 7, 2024 by Jason

That leads us to a helpful metaphor for this series: walls vs. fences.

Walls are barriers. They don’t allow access. A wall keeps the bad things out and protects that which is good. A wall is the most rigid boundary of all.

Fences serve a similar purpose; they certainly mark out the boundaries. But a fence allows far more access. Most fences have gates to allow people to enter and exit freely. Fences allow for greater connectivity than an inaccessible wall.

When it comes to establishing healthy boundaries, especially in our families, we should aim for fences with gates, not walls. The “leaving” part of Genesis 2 would be for this newly married couple to have their own space. That’s not to say that you’re sinning if you have to move in with Mom and Dad for a while. It’s just that long-term, God is saying that it’s better for everyone to have their own space. But this new space shouldn’t be walled off from your family. No, we want to build fences with gates rather than inaccessible walls.

Whenever someone opens the gate and gives you access to their life, you are receiving a tremendous gift. But you are also accepting some responsibility. Lysa TerKeurst sums this up with a simple statement: Access requires responsibility. If I’m going to grant you access, you have to steward that responsibility. That means you have to respect my boundaries.

This is a good place to address an important question. What should you do whenever someone doesn’t respect your boundaries? What should you do with someone who acts irresponsibly after you’ve granted them access to your heart?

It’s true that in most of our relationships, the healthy goal should be to establish fences with gates, not walls. But there are exceptions to this.

Unfortunately, we live in a fallen, broken world — and that means we live with the consequences of sin. We live in a world where people break their promises. We live in a world where, through no fault of your own, your boundaries can be violated — and those can be some of the most painful experiences of your life.

If you’re the victim of an abusive situation, you need some good walls in your life. Walls can protect that which is sacred and for the sake of your own healing, your abuser doesn’t need to have access to you anymore.

In other situations, you might have to build up some walls for a period of time until God can help you heal. You might need to guard the gate more closely for a period of time, at least until there’s some repentance. This can be really messy and it requires a lot of wisdom. But I just want to say that there are times when this is definitely the right approach.

It doesn’t make you a bad person to have firm boundaries with irresponsible people.

If access requires responsibility, then it also holds that irresponsibility should result in limited access — or perhaps no access at all, at least until the offending party can accept responsibility.

Posted in Books, Boundaries, Culture, Family, Preaching | Leave a comment

Boundaries in Families, Part 1

Posted on October 6, 2024 by Jason

Family is where we learn about the importance of boundaries. Your Mom and Dad taught you about “Yes” and “No,” about how to behave and — just as importantly — how NOT to behave. Family is where we learn about sharing, about how to get along with other people. We learn so much about boundaries in the context of our family.

And family is usually where we need the boundaries the most.

Good boundaries in families come down to one thing: the balance between being together and being separate.

This principle is stated early on in the Bible, all the way back in Genesis 2.

Genesis 2:24

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

In this passage, God communicates His intentions for marriage and family. It involves three actions:

  • Leaving: There is a departure from one’s parents. The Hebrew word literally means “loosen.” In order to move forward in the covenant relationship of marriage, one must first loosen the connection to his family of origin. That also means that your parents have to loosen their grip on you, too.
  • Holding fast: This is to enter into a new covenant relationship with your spouse. This word can also be translated as “cling.” As the relationship with parents is loosened, the relationship with your husband / wife now becomes primary.
  • Becoming one flesh: the marriage covenant is sealed through the physical union of the married couple. The two have now become one.

So this passage teaches us that the covenant relationship of marriage is the most sacred of all human relationships. It reorders all other relationships, including the relationship you have with your parents.

As always, problems occur whenever we don’t follow the biblical pattern. It’s a problem when you don’t loosen your connection to your parents so that you can hold fast to your spouse. And as parents, it’s a problem whenever we don’t help our children let go of their connection to us.

When it says that a man “leaves” his father and his mother, it doesn’t mean that he terminates the relationship completely. He simply loosens that relationship a bit so he can hold tightly to the covenant relationship with his wife. And she does the same thing with her family.

Posted in Boundaries, Family, God, Marriage, Preaching, Scripture | Leave a comment

2024 MLB Playoff Picks: Divisional Round

Posted on October 4, 2024 by Jason

After one round, Sunny is looking good, especially with those Royals and Tigers picks.

Sunny: 3-1

Jason: 2-2

Joshua: 1-3

Round two features some major star power: Shohei (the NL MVP), Aaron Judge (the AL MVP), Tarik Skubal (the AL Cy Young), Bobby Witt (AL MVP runner-up), Jose Ramirez (3rd place in the AL MVP), Francisco Lindor (NL MVP runner-up)….to say nothing of Bryce Harper and Freddie Freeman and Mookie Betts and Juan Soto and Fernando Tatis, Jr. This round should be electric.

Here are our picks for the Divisional round:

Tigers vs. Guardians

Jason: Guardians; Joshua: Guardians; Sunny: Tigers

Skubal can only pitch once in this series, so I’m liking Cleveland.

Royals vs. Yankees

Jason: Yankees; Joshua: Yankees; Sunny: Royals

I think Kansas City is a good upset pick here, but I’m going to stick with the favorites and go with the Yankees. I’m thinking Cole and Rodon will be on their games in this series.

Mets vs. Phillies

Jason: Phillies; Joshua: Phillies; Sunny: Phillies

I really like this Philadelphia team to have a deep playoff run. Honestly, I would’ve preferred to see Brewers / Phillies, as I think that would’ve been a more competitive series.

Padres vs. Dodgers

Jason: Padres; Joshua: Padres; Sunny: Padres

I’m really surprised to see all three of us taking San Diego. This team is really complete and, just as importantly, they are much healthier than the Dodgers.

Posted in Baseball, Family, Kids, Sports, Sunny | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment