Laughing to Keep From Crying

You may have noticed the dearth of University of Tennessee related posts on this blog this fall. It’s not that I’ve become a fair weather fan; far from it. It’s that I’ve had virtually nothing positive to write about. We’re 1-3 at the bottom of the conference and with Georgia, Bama, and an upstart Vandy still looming on the schedule, I have a feeling it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

Naturally, I’ve been inundated with plenty of email forwards bemoaning the pitiful state of my beloved Vols. Here are two of the best:

From the National Weather Service:

In the event of a tornado warning, the National Weather Service advises all Knoxville, TN residents to take immediate shelter in Neyland Stadium since a touchdown is highly unlikely to occur there.

I got this one after the Florida game.

Effective immediately Phillip Fulmer is scheduled to take over as head of FEMA for the federal government.

Apparently, Congress was so impressed with how quickly Fulmer evacuated over 109,000 fans from Neyland Stadium on Saturday, they’re expected to rubber stamp his approval by the end of the week.

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying, you know?

Posted in Football, Humor | Leave a comment

2008 NL Round-Up

Well, this is a sad day for me. Another baseball regular season is in the books. And although the excitement that is October baseball is will fuel me over the course of the next month, I’m taking a moment tonight to grieve the official end of summer. No more perusing the daily box scores every morning. No more checking the standings and the next day’s pitching matchups. No more Cardinal games to follow on the radio.

By the way, this Cardinals team may have tailed off down the stretch, but I’m as proud of this squad as any in recent memory. Nobody picked them to contend (not even this ardent fan), yet they held the league’s third-best record until their late summer fade. Still, this unit played vintage Tony LaRussa 25-man baseball and I loved them for it. Congrats, boys, on a well played season. And way to go, Tony.

Anyway, time for my annual end-of-the-season / playoff predictions post. With the final AL playoff spot still up for grabs (Go Twins!), I’ll make this post in two parts. Today: the National League.

NL MVP
This year lacks a clear cut choice for the league’s highest individual honor, which means several names are being bandied about in the MVP discussion. The league’s best team — the Cubs — lacks that one player with MVP-caliber numbers; Chicago’s offensive attack is more balanced. Some will argue that Manny Ramirez’s torrid two month stint in Dodger blue should garner him consideration (I disagree). Ryan Howard put his teammates on his broad shoulders in the second half and he leads the circuit in the glamor categories: home runs (48) and RBIs (146). But he also struck out 199 times and he batted just .250, which scares off a lot of voters. Ryan Braun and David Wright deserve to be in the conversation. So does Lance Berkman, whose Astros were in the hunt until the very end. But in my opinion, in a year with no clear cut choice on any of the postseason clubs, you have to go with the best player in the league, which in this case is clearly Albert Pujols. His .356 batting average is more than 100 points higher than Ryan Howard’s, who seems to be his nearest competition. He leads Howard in OPS by 200 points. He had more walks than strikeouts. Heck, he had more extra base hits than strikeouts. He helped keep a team of ragtags, journeymen, and spare parts competitive for 5 1/2 months. He’s the best player in the game today and the MVP should be his. Sure this sounds like a homer pick and it is. But it’s good to know at least one national columnist agrees with me. You should, too.

NL Cy Young
Another tough call. It’s been pretty much a three-horse race the final few weeks. Brandon Webb
Webb came out of the gate strong and leads the league with 22 wins. Tim Lincecum lost the ERA crown today to Johan Santana, but he was simply amazing this year, compiling a record of 18-5 with a 2.62 ERA and 265 strikeouts. What CC Sabathia did in Milwaukee these last couple of months was just awesome, especially pitching on short rest today to put the Brew Crew in the playoffs for the first time in 26 years. But it’s not enough to ignore the season long body of work Webb and Lincecum have amassed. Looks like I’m with Stark on this one, too; I’ll go with Lincecum (if his arm doesn’t fall off before he receives the award). Honorable mention to Johan Santana and Brad Lidge, who recovered his swagger this year to go 41 for 41 in save opps.

NL Rookie of the Year
No question, Geovany Soto. The Cubs catcher has played like a vet all year, both behind the plate and with the bat. This is a no brainer.

NL Manager of the Year
Another slam dunk. Lou Pinella has guided the Cubs to the best record in the league and they look to be the odds-on favorites to represent the Senior Circuit in the Fall Classic. Who said I couldn’t be objective about this stuff? Honorable mention to Jerry Manuel who helped salvage the Mets season and make them viable again, late-season collapse notwithstanding.

NLDS: Dodgers vs. Cubs
Chicago is the more complete team by far: they possess a balanced offensive attack and a deep bullpen with several live arms. I like their starting pitching a lot less than others seem to (Ryan Dempster as your Game 1 starter? Seriously?!?), but they’re clearly the better team against the 84-win Dodgers. But this is a different Dodger club with Manny and I expect them to give the Cubbies a run for their money. I think the more talented team will prevail in five games, but look for Torre and Co. to make it interesting.

NLDS: Brewers vs. Phillies
I think this is a great matchup. The Brewers somehow survived a 10-16 September to back their way into the playoffs. Too bad the same can’t be said for Ned Yost, who should land on his feet as the manager of the Mets next season. (Come on, you know those two are made for each other.) Can the Brew Crew ride CC Sabathia to a first-round upset of the NL East Champions? With CC and Ben Sheets in a short series, anything can happen. But those guys can’t pitch every game (unless Dale Sveum is fired and Brewers management hires Dusty Baker) and in a battle of bullpens, the advantage goes to Philly. Plus, the Phils feature a dynamic offense of Rollins, Utley, Howard, Burrell, and Werth. And Philadelphia holds another key advantage: when it comes to mascots, the Philly Phanatic is way cooler than that Bernie Brewer guy or those really tall sausage guys. Philadelphia in five.

NLCS: Phillies vs. Cubs
I could never wholeheartedly root for the Cubs, especially in the postseason. But part of me really hopes they win the NL pennant and advance to their first World Series since 1945. Because then it’ll hurt even more when they inevitably choke. So, sure, Cubs in six.

Posted in Baseball | Leave a comment

Bono on Malaria

While I’m on a run of Bono-induced posts, I found this one interesting. While I find it hard to believe malaria will be completely eradicated by 2015, I like the sentiment. And I’m also thankful that these kinds of issues will be at least a small part of the discussion in tonight’s presidential debate. I know there are a lot of important matters to be discussed (the economy, primarily), but recognizing the importance of matters of social justice gives me hope for the days ahead.

Posted in Politics, Social Issues | Leave a comment

In Concert: The Avett Brothers

So I’m stoked that I get to see one of my favorite bands, The Avett Brothers, in concert tonight in Nashville. Their 2007 release, Emotionalism, has been my favorite record of the last 12 months. They have a bluegrass / rock sound that I absolutely love. They’re not Sunny’s favorite, but she’s agreed to be my date for the evening! I think she’s more excited about eating at one of our favorite Nashville spots, DaVinci’s, a gourmet pizza place. Should be a great night.

I’ve noticed that my kids are inheriting my musical tastes, especially Joshua. Some nights I’ll set my computer up in his room and let him listen to songs on my iTunes while he’s falling asleep. (We’re planning on getting him a CD player for Christmas; until then, Dad’s laptop will have to do.) Anyway, he usually opts for his favorite songs I’ve compiled on a playlist for him: “Barbara Ann” by the Beach Boys; “Life Is A Highway” from the Cars soundtrack; “Hot Hot Hot” by Buster Poindexter; and, of course, “Rocky Top”. The other night, I asked him what he wanted to listen to and he replied, “What was that song we were listening to in the van today?” Naturally, it was The Avetts, the song called “Die Die Die”. He said, “I like your music, Daddy.” I know the day will come when I won’t be cool in his eyes anymore; I’m just trying to soak it up until that day comes. So I cranked up an Avett playlist for him and he was off to sleepy-time.

Now that I think about it, I should’ve played “Go To Sleep” for him. Hopefully we’ll get to hear that one tonight. See ya next week.

Posted in Kids, Music, Sunny | 2 Comments

Bono on the Bailout

Interesting quote by Bono on the bailout:

It’s extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can’t find $25 billion dollars to saved 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases.

Posted in Poverty, Quotes | 5 Comments

A Gift for Sunny

May it never be said that I don’t have a romantic side. This morning before I left for work, I decided to present Sunny with a little gift to let her know how much she means to me. What do you think?


It’s the thought that counts, right?

Posted in Sunny | Leave a comment

A Dose of Perspective

You know what helps me on days like this? Days filled with economic gloom-and-doom prognosticating and venomous political ads (even the local ones) and Ahmadinejad-Bush squareoffs and mortgage company fraud and racism and all the other stories that paint these troubled times we live in?

You know what helps me on days like this?

A dose of perspective.

I go to a place like The Voice of the Martyrs and I realize that my brothers and sisters around the globe have it much worse than I do.

I go to Voices from Darfur and I listen to the heartbreaking stories of these survivors of genocide. And I think about the 400,000 who have lost their lives in Darfur.

I think about Mission Lazarus and the work that’s going on in Honduras and I remember to pray for the precious people there. Especially the hungry children with those empty bowls.

I think about all of that and when I return to all the problems here, things don’t seem quite as bad. I don’t know…if you’re like me, you need a little perspective from time to time. Especially on days like today.

Posted in Politics, Poverty, Social Issues | 1 Comment

12:23am – Casper Strikes Again

It’s 12:23am. Casper strikes again.

Jackson got this gray Elmo remote control as a birthday gift from his Aunt Tara. It was pretty cool; it looked just like Daddy’s remote control, only it had these big googly eyes on top and it made all these Elmo sounds. Anyway, for some reason, Abby Kate decided to throw it in the toilet this afternoon. Sunny fished the thing out of the commode and deemed it unsalvageable, throwing it in the kitchen trash can. All of this happened before I came home from work, so I was oblivious to the whole thing.

A few minutes ago, Sunny and I woke up to this weird noise. At first it sounded like a dying cat or something right outside our bedroom window. I shot up immediately and ran to the bedroom door and it was obvious that the sound wasn’t coming from outside — it was in the house! I ran out into the kitchen and the sound got louder. Instead of a dying cat, it sounded more like a beatboxing hyena — wiki, wiki, wiki, WIKI! wiki, wiki, wiki, WIKI! I couldn’t believe it, but the sound was actually coming from our trash can!

I say, “Sunny, I think there’s some kind of animal in the trash can.”

Sunny just starts laughing.

Fearfully, I open up the trash can, not knowing what manner of vermin would leap out to attack me. Instead, this is what I see staring up at me:


I guess Jackson’s remote decided to emit this screeching, ear-piercing cry before giving up the ghost. I thought about bringing in Jackson’s Cookie Monster to administer last rites on the thing.

I’m getting sick and tired of this Casper stuff.

Posted in Casper, Humor | 2 Comments

Mommy M.I.A. Redux, Days 3 & 4

This post is just for closure’s sake. Nothing exciting happened the last two days of the weekend. I had a runny nose / sore throat all weekend, pretty much right until Sunny got home. I know…I’m a wuss. Now that she’s home, it’s pretty much cleared up, but Sunny’s still making chicken noodle soup for me, so I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth. Kids were fine; no more run-ins with the ghost. Nothing to report. Which is just fine with me. I guess nothing can compare to last time.

Posted in Kids, Mommy M.I.A., Sunny | 1 Comment

Mommy M.I.A. Redux, Day 2

Well, it’s the end of day two and we’re all still surviving. Last time I checked, we all still had our fingers and toes. Honestly, the kids have been great.

Our ghost, on the other hand…

This morning I had all the kids in the van, ready to go to school on time. We back out of the garage and I go to close the garage door…and no dice. The garage door opener doesn’t respond; the garage light just blinks on and off. I spend the next 10 minutes doing everything I know to do to get the door down. Finally, I just have to leave with it up. We get home and I spend even more time working on it, to no avail. I think one of the “eyes” is messed up or something. I think Casper is getting me back for my shampoo taunts.

But that’s not all. I’m pretty sure I’ve closed the lid to the washing machine at least twice. Yet, when I came home from picking up the kids, it was up again. Casper, this is not the weekend to mess with me. Seriously.

Keeping up with Jack is keeping me on my toes. Turn your back for a second and he’ll get into something. When we were playing outside, the quick little booger kept making a break for the street. Later he was carrying this little ceramic tea pot thing of Abby Kate’s on the kitchen tile. Of course, he dropped it and it broke into about 50 pieces. Let the record show that the floor was sufficiently swept and vacuumed thereafter. Seemed like the adult thing to do.

Today convicted me of two things:

  1. We should invest heavily in paper-towel stock. Today alone I’ve wiped up milk, water, snot, milk again, peanut butter, dried boogers, and the juice that comes in those little packages of peaches. That’s not even counting the baby wipes we go through.
  2. Our laundry consumption is simply outrageous. Sunny’s only been gone 36 hours and there’s already a Vesuvius-sized mound of dirty clothes in the laundry room. I would wash them but Sunny has this labyrinthine pre-wash method of clothing segregation that is more complicated than the BCS computer rankings. But at the rate we’re going, we’ll run out of clothes sometime tomorrow. I guess I should just be happy I’m not doing Casper’s laundry, too.

Actually, I’m convicted of one more thing: I’m ready for Sunny to come home.

Posted in Casper, Humor, Kids, Mommy M.I.A. | 2 Comments