So tonight was Bunco night. Which means Sunny didn’t cook. Which means that I had to gird up my loins and venture out into the wild bearing the traditional mantle of the hunter-gatherer, seeking sustenance for my progeny. I hopped into that most ancient of transportation devices — the mini-van — and braved the elements until I found a lush locale with provisions aplenty to feed my brood.
More succinctly, I went to Wendy’s.
My conversation with the drive-thru girl got me thinking about fast food etiquette. Allow me to explain.
I pull up. Before I even have my window down, I’m asked for my order by a less-than-chirpy disembodied voice. I say, “Yeah, can you give me just a second, please?” Silence. After I find what I’m looking for, I say, “Okay, I’m ready if you are.”
Silence.
“Hello?”
“Go ahead,” the voice growls at me.
“Okay. First, I need a kids chicken nugget meal with fries and a chocolate milk. And…(I pause to give her time to register my order)…I also need…”
“Will that be all?”
“Uh, no,” I reply. Now, I’m not a linguistics expert here or anything, but I’m pretty sure that on most planets when you begin a sentence with, “First, I need…”, it’s a fairly common assumption that this statement will, quite naturally, lead to a “Second, I need…” or a “Next, I need…” or an “Ergo, I also need…”. But I digress.
“Uh, no,” I say. “I also need a kids burger meal with fries and a chocolate milk. And…(another pause for her to enter the order, though this pause is briefer than the first one)…finally (said with emphasis to clearly designate my ordering period is well nigh complete) I need…”
“Your total is $6.73. Please drive around.”
“But wait, I’m not done ordering yet,” I say, clearly agitated but not wanting to express too much rage lest my Single with cheese come with a side order of loogie.
“Keep going,” says the disembodied voice. No “my bad”. No “oops”. No “sorry”. Just “keep going.”
“I’d like a #1 meal with fries and…(I pause for, like, a millisecond while I deliberate my drink order)…”
“What to drink?”
Again, I’m no expert here. But I’m pretty sure that’s not a sentence.
“Coke,” I said. “And that completes my order.” Yeah, I’m definitely getting that loogie after all.
So, I have a little project for you, intrepid readers. Let’s compose a Drive-Thru Etiquette Manifesto. This is your chance to vent. What are your drive-thru horror stories? Your pet peeves? Time for catharsis, people.
Tired of being stiffed on your napkins! Use your voice right here!
Do you hate it when they “accidentally” drop your coinage out the window, knowing that you’re not going to get out and get it? Me, too!
Exasperated by always being the guy that has to pull forward and wait “just a sec” for your fries! No more! (This always happens to me, by the way.)
Sick of leaving the parking lot only to find that your beverage, rather than the refreshing soft drink you ordered, is actually that disgusting carbonated water stuff! You’re not alone!
When we’re done you can storm your (least) favorite fast food eatery and nail our Manifesto on the door.
Come together, people! Let your voices be heard! Viva Revolution!
already & not yet 
I could go on forever regarding this topic, but I’ll leave it at this…. When you order a Zesty Chicken Bowl to go from Taco Bell, that normally means you need a spoon too. Unless I’m the only one who doesn’t dig into one of those with my fingers.
I know I’m picky on what I order on my burger (and I can handle scraping onions off even though I didn’t order them), but how hard is it to actually give me the correct item from the menu? Is there some sort of code I don’t know about?Hamburger Happy (ketchup only) with an apple juiceEQUALS=Chicken Nugget Happy Meal with Lemonade How does that happen?
I absolute hate going through a drive-thru with my family. I much prefer parking and just going inside and letting each person order for themselves, but whenever I propose this, Eyegal always says, “Keep driving, you big baby.”I’m expected to get all their orders straight, even as they change their minds a dozen times each. Sometimes in frustration, I just roll down all the windows and let each one of them shout their own orders. They all require special orders, never a simple “#1 please,” and they invariably want things that were on the menu years ago, but no longer appear today.Once we pull up to get our food and pay, the order is never correct for all the aforementioned reasons. Then Eyegal insists on “staying put” to check each item in the order, right there in front of the window, even as the 10 drivers behind us and the teenage worker glare at me as if to say, “What a jerk.”The other night my brother-in-law was with us. He noticed the edge in my voice when ordering and said, “You really ought to be nicer to the workers; they’ve been known to leave loogies to rude customers.”It was the first time that I can ever recall telling my brother-in-law to “shut up,” even though I have thought about it many times before.I hate going through drive-thrus. It is, without a doubt, my most deep-seated neurosis.
Not too long ago, I pulled into Taco Bell and ordered the Nachos Bell Grande with Chicken instead of beef, and a diet pepsi. Allow me to deepen the story by saying that just about every time I get a Nachos Bell Grande, they screw it up. Sometimes they charge me for the chicken, but put beef on it. Sometimes they forget key elements. The item is supposed to have the following things:1. Chips2. Cheese3. Green Onions4. Tomatoes5. Refried Beans6. Sour CreamSo I, like “Eyegal”, always check everything before I leave the window. There was a not so nice younger lady working the window, and said to me as I peered into my bag “Its all there, you don’t have to check it.”That is when, in my most polite voice possible told her “The nachos only have the chips and the refried beans on them. There is no cheese, no sour cream, no tomatoes or green onions.”She took the bag, and very politely said under her breath “Sorry your majesty, can’t you just live with what we #@%$* gave you?”. At that point, I politely asked for my money back, and drove down to our local McDonalds. Everything came out right there, except they didn’t give me a straw or napkins.
Lane I would have been hard pressed not to put the car in park, right in the middle of the drive through line, and walk in and see the manager. I will say this, Taco Bell has the worst service and most attitude of any of the fast food chains
You’ve really opened up a can of worms here, Jason.
The only way to win the war is to stop going to fast food restaurants altogether. I can’t remember the last time we had a drive through experience. We quit going after watching SUPER SIZE me. Our past experiences include rude order takers, not so bright order takers, and food that is disgusting. If I can’t cook, I’d rather spend a few dollars more for table service somewhere.But I feel your pain…..
At the risk of being beaten up let me be positive for a moment. I find that every time I go to Jack in the Box, they are always nice and my food is always correct. Next time stop by Jack’s house…
I would just like to be thanked for being a customer! I hate it when they open up their little window and stick their hand out and shove the food at me without saying a word! They are usually so quick to get their arm back in and have the window closed before I can even ask for a straw or some napkins or some ketchup. I love going through the drive thru at Starbucks. They are always so polite and nice. I hate fast food and wish that it would just go away.
You know what I like? I like it when you order at Chick Fil-A. When you say “Thank you”, they always reply back with “My pleasure.” Even if it isn’t always sincere, I’ll take the effort. I guess I just like the formality of it all. Is Pizza Hut considered fast food? If so, then I have another complaint to lodge. In our dating days, Sunny and I stopped at Pizza Hut and tried to order a pizza. We were told we couldn’t order one because the store was out of cheese. “But the crazy bread is really good,” the guy told us. He said the manager had just run to Kroger to pick up some more cheese. Obviously, we didn’t stick around.Mike, I feel your pain in a forward-looking, I’ll-be-there-in-10-years-myself kind of way. Ugh. Sunny has started checking the order before we pull off, too. We’ve been burned too many times. Lane, he actually called you “your majesty”? That’s terrible. And a little funny.
Joshua,Down here in these parts, I don’t know if we have a “Jack in the Box”. We have a Little Rosies that’ll knock your socks off, though.
I echo the Chick Fil A experience. They always are polite, and if they get an order wrong, they usually fix it with no complaint.And yes, she said “your majesty”. I don’t think she was having a good day. Thing is, I was really nice about it. Didn’t like 20 people die from e coli poisoning from Jack In The Box….maybe that’s why they’re so nice.
Ouch, I told you I would get beat up….I must agree on the Starbucks for a while I would go on Wednesday nights after class with my group and they would sometimes give me free coffee because I “work” with teens. I guess this is because teens are their biggest consumer base.
Touchy subject and I know these are teens but if they were just polite it would mean so much. We have always, always, had a hard time getting our girls hamburgers with mustard only. Example even last month: Jamie (interpreter) and I were in Ensenada last month and Jamie tried 3 times to order hamburger with mustard only. This means no chesse and that always gets put on there. Jamie was speaking spanish and pretty good and she heard her tell the back with Queso and mustard only. When she tried to correct her she started speaking spanish to another girl talking mouthing off about Jamie. She was so mad and she was saying to me. I was speaking fluent spanish and she just stood right in front of me and mouthing off. It was incredible. Of course they put cheese on it. So to this day we cannot get it right. NO more tears now but when they were little it was bad. Kent stopped one time and bought a bottle of mustard because it was plain with nothing. So I could go on and on. Why do they put onions on kids hamburgers. How many kids like onions?Do not even get me started on Taco Bell. The one in Hampton Cove needs to be shut down. They were out of everything the first time and we ended up leaving because they said they were at Walmart buying stuff they had run out of. Then last time we attempted it coming home from Softball tourney and it took over an hour wait and we were the only ones in there and I wrote the company and complained and got a coupon but never used it. I will never go back to that restaurant , in Hampton Cove. Oh well, I guess I need to cook more huh. Na that is ok.Sunny, I do liked to be thanked. I a lot of times just smile and kill them with kindness and they usually get nicer. Thanks Jason great to sound off. Also, I really enjoyed your lesson Sunday it was great.
Laura, the Taco Bell in Hampton Cove is the absolute worst one!!!! I don’t know what is going on in that store, but they really need to change some things around. I will not eat there again! One time it took 25 minutes to order 2 Beef Meximelts. I ended up asking for my money back after waiting 25 minutes. I don’t know why it takes so long there.
ok guys-I know I am a little late in answering, but I just can’t resist putting a slight twist on the venting (sorry if I step on any toes).Here’s a perspective from the other side of the window! I am a Pharmacist, and, like so many pharmacies these days, we have a drive-thru (satan’s major contribution to pharmacy- along with transfer coupons). Although there are several things that make me mad, they can all pretty much be narrowed down to 2 points:1. This is NOT Taco Bell, McDonalds, or Burger King. You are not getting a meal that at best will fill you up and at worst will give you a little extra “reading” time later on. You are at a pharmacy. You are picking up medicine that could make you better, or- in some cases, make you worse (even to death)- on top of that, it is expensive. Given this thought- I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask that people be patient and understanding if we have to spend a little extra time explaining meds or fixing a billing issue. Although our goal is to get people in and out in a reasonable time- out FIRST priority is taking care of people- and if that means 10-15 minutes in the drive-thru- so be it. Don’t like it? just remember that at some point in time that person “that won’t circle around” will be you.2. GIVE ME A MINUTE!!!!! When someone pulls into our drive-thru, a bell goes off. If they choose, they can “buzz” us by hitting the “call” button. Note: there is NO NEED to pull up and immediatly hit the “call” button. Just because I don’t come sprinting to the window the moment you enter the parking lot doesn’t mean I am not coming- most of the time, I am on my way to the window when I get buzzed. Unfortunatly, I live and work in Madison, aka: Buzzertown! In my pharmacy- it goes like this: “ding-dong (drive thru bell)-“BUZZZZZZZZZZ”!!! (all day long) And sometimes, if i am really lucky, I get double or even tripple buzzed (with no time between buzzes-you do this and it is likely I will end up being “distracted” by something more important on my way to the window, thus prompting you to buzz me more-it’s my tribute to the loogie!). I even get buzzed WHILE STANDING at the window!!!!- why are you buzzing me , I AM RIGHT HERE! HELLO!?!?!?Please, if you feel the need to buzz (which is fine, in some cases)- only once will be enough (unless of course we don’t answer in a minute or two).oh yeah, and put your cell phone calls on hold while at the window- I know it is crucial that you re-hash every little detail of little Sara’s Tumblebee’s gymnastics class today to your spouse (whom you will spend the evening with as soon as you get out of my drive-thru)- but just please, put them on hold just a sec- thanks!wow! this is like therapy-I feel like I should be writing a check or something!
Trey,The bill is in the mail. I can’t believe you get buzzed while you’re standing at the window. I’m glad you find the humor in it, but that’s got to be annoying!
I’m glad they aren’t any optometry drive-thrus. It’s bad enough as it is.
Or drive-thru churches. Can you imagine communion to go?
Trey, it is good to know not to ring the bell at the pharmacy drive thru. I really enjoy going to our pharmacy. I like it because they always know your name when you pull up. For the longest time, we dealt with Walgreens and it was just too big and slow (the longest I waited one time was near 45 minutes – I did not get out and go in seeing as how I was sick, had infant twins in the van with me and it was pouring down rain outside, plus, I was stuck between cars). I thought that you were supposed to ring the bell. I have definitely never rung it more than once. Now I know.
Just to jump in here….I HATE going throught the drive thru. I especially dislike when they can’t a simple order correct at Taco Bell. A double decker taco with no lettuce….means NO LETTUCE. How hard is to get that right. I understand that they make these things all day long and have a certain routine but come on. When I worked at O’Reilly’s I looked up car parts all day long. If you needed brake pads I didn’t come back with a water pump (Oh my bad, you know I pull parts so much I just thought this was what you JUST TOLD ME 2 SECONDS AGO). Or at my current job if you came in a picked out your granite color and I cut a different on instead…Oh, my bad you know with cutting granite all day long I forgot which color I WROTE YOUR NAME ALL OVER. UGH!!! IDIOTS!!