The Bible tells us that our words are important. In fact, the Bible says our words have the power of life and death.

The tongue has the power of life and death…

Proverbs 18:21

This is one of those universal truths that everyone has experienced. Our words have the power to build up and they have the power to tear down. In the New Testament, James puts it this way: James 3:10, Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

Think back to a time when someone said something hurtful to you or about you. It probably doesn’t take long for most of us to remember a time when someone criticized us or said something cruel to us. “You’re too this or you’re not enough of that.” Maybe they said it to your face; maybe they said it behind your back to other people. But just think back to one of those times when someone else really wounded you with their words.

Now, can you remember how long ago this was? 

The wound may be fairly fresh — something from the past week or month. But I suspect most of us can go back to a moment that happened years ago. Can you remember that hurtful experience from five years ago? Ten years ago? Twenty?

I can still remember something really discouraging that my fourth grade teacher said to me all the way back in 1986.

And I know you have your own version of those discouraging, critical words that can be so painful. Unfortunately, negative words have a long shelf life. There’s really no expiration date on those negative words. Often times, they play on a loop, over and over again in our minds.

The good news is that positive, uplifting words hold the same power. As it says, the tongue has the power of death, but also the power of life. Yes, I remember some of those negative words, even decades later. But I can thank the Lord that I can also remember some positive words I received in my childhood or when I was a teenager — right up to the present day. And I know you’re the same way, too.

Everyone needs to hear words of affirmation and love and appreciation. It’s one of the most basic ways that our emotional tanks are filled up. So let’s use our words to build up — to bring life, not death.

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One of the ways we can do this is through encouragement. Our world is full of discouragement — which makes encouragement all the more important. You know there is a person in the Bible who is called “son of encouragement.” His name is Barnabas. Luke mentions him first in Acts 4:36.

…Jospeh, who was called by the apostles Barnabas (which means son of encouragement) …

Acts 4:36

To encourage literally means “to help, to console, to comfort.” And Barnabas certainly uses his words to do this. His encouragement at the right time made all the difference in the life of Saul (who would go on to become the Apostle Paul) and a young man named John Mark — and who knows how many others benefitted from the encouragement of Barnabas.

This is one of the most important love languages for a majority of people. So how can you be a son or daughter of encouragement this week? How can we use our words to love people well?

For those of you who are married, one of the best things you can do for your marriage is to find a way to praise your spouse in front of other people. Look for opportunities to build him / her up in front of someone else. You get bonus points if you do this in front of his / her family. This will encourage your husband or wife in a special way.

A few days ago, Sunny was talking to Jackson and she said something about me that I really treasured. It was this beautiful compliment that was totally unprompted — it just came from her heart. And it meant so much to me — not only to know that this is what she thinks of me but also to have her voice that in front of our son. It was a really special moment that I will treasure for a long time.

So look for a way to do this — to show love to your spouse by building him / her up in front of someone else.

Of course, saying encouraging words about your spouse is no substitute for saying encouraging words to your spouse. A healthy marriage will have a good balance of both.

Encouragement always makes a difference. No matter who you are, not matter where you are: everyone needs encouragement.

The young people in your life need some encouragement. I talk to our younger members all the time and so many of them recognize a need to have some older people in their lives saying, “I’ve been where you are right now. You’re going to make it.” They need people reminding them about God’s promises as they’re navigating the seasons of life.

• They need people sharing their own stories of how they made it through their days as a young adult.
• They need to hear how you made it through those early years of being married, those sleepless nights with crying babies, when your own children were teenagers.
• They need to hear about how you dealt with stresses at work, how you dealt with aging parents — all the things we experience in the various stages of life.
• And they need the encouragement to know that they’ll make it through.

And the older people in your life need some encouragement, too. They need people in their lives who will listen. They want to know that they are respected and appreciated and loved. Those things never change no matter your age or stage of life.

Encouragement always makes a difference.