A Way of Life

I don’t know how you feel about the providence of God. As for me, I’m convinced.

When I was 18 years old, I was the epitome of the angry young man. My Mother had just died and I began to spiral downward into a dark period of self-loathing and anger. The God I’d heard about my whole life — the God of love and comfort — seemed distant or, even worse, a sham. If God was real, I told myself, He sure doesn’t love you. I think there’s probably no more dangerous place to be…when you begin to doubt that you’re worthy of God’s love.

That’s when God sent an angel my way in the form of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl named Sunny. Ours was a pretty improbable pairing: like I said, I was in a pretty dark, skeptical place at the time…and along comes this joyful ray of light, all smiles and warmth and optimism. We were — are continue to be — so different. She was loved by her teachers, the perfect student — always respectful, always obedient. I was neither. Sunny has always been an ardent rule follower, while I’ve been known to bend a rule or two if the end justifies it. I’m convinced that if we’d known each other in elementary school, we’d have hated each other. But providentially, we met at just the right time.

It’s not a stretch to say that Sunny saved my life. I’m reminded of how she helped me believe again: in God, in myself, in everything. She helped me see that I was lovable, that God hadn’t forsaken me no matter what the circumstances might seem to indicate. She loved me through my pain and through this simple act, something profound occurred: she became a conduit through which I experienced the love of God once more. And when that happened, my life changed forever.

Today we celebrate an anniversary: 12 years of marriage. It’s a significant marker, one that we acknowledge every year. But annual recognition isn’t nearly enough when it comes to how I feel about Sunny. Her love has become a way of life for me, and it’s the best life I could ever know or behold. Sunny, I shudder to think where I’d be…who I’d be…if not for your love. You have restored me and redeemed me from my darkest hour. Your faithful love points me more directly to the enduring faithfulness of our God. You are God’s gift to me. And I love you.

August 14, 2011 — 10:29pm

This entry was posted in Blessings, God, Sunny. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to A Way of Life

  1. Faye Cripps says:

    Jason, I am so touched by this gift of love you have given your Sunny, on your anniversary.I knew you when you were 18 and know it must have been a devastating time for you. I am so proud of you and Ben. We shared some trying times then but you guys did o k.

  2. What a wonderful tribute to the saving grace of God, and the wonderful messenger who dispensed it to your life, Sunny. Great post.

  3. Jason says:

    Thanks, guys. I really appreciate you taking the time to read what I’ve written.

  4. Jane says:

    I love this! Happy Anniversary to you two!

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