2011 MLB Preview: NL East

Posted on March 28, 2011 by Jason

Time for my annual MLB division preview, starting with the National League East.

1st place: Philadelphia Phillies

The Phils’ acquisition of prized free agent SP Cliff Lee sent shock waves through the hot stove league this winter. Adding Lee to an already healthy rotation makes Philadelphia the odds-on-favorites for the NL pennant. It’s awfully hard to argue with 800+ innings of Lee, Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels. But no team has been hit as hard by the injury bug this spring: Dominic Brown, Chase Utley, Brad Lidge and Placido Polanco are in various stages of repair and there are whispers that Utley might not take the field again until the All-Star Break. Even with the injuries, the lineup is a solid one, anchored by 1B Ryan Howard, SS Jimmy Rollins and CF Shane Victorino. The bullpen is as shaky as ever, but if they can get everyone healthy and on the field, this team will be very dangerous.

2nd place: Atlanta Braves

Let’s start with the bad news: this is one of the worst fielding teams in the league. An infield of Dan Uggla, Alex Gonzalez, and Chipper Jones is almost laughably bad. And when Chipper goes down sometime in mid-April, his replacement is Brooks Conrad, who, need I remind you, couldn’t catch a cold if he lived in a petri dish. The closer committee is also largely unproven; Jair Jurrjens hasn’t proven to be the ace everyone thought he would be; and new manager Fredi Gonzalez is following in the footsteps of Atlanta royalty. But there’s good news, too. Uggla can pound. Heyward should be even better as a sophomore. McCann is in his prime. Hanson is crazy good. And all the injuries in Philly have brought them back to the pack in this division. I don’t see Atlanta overtaking the Phillies, but I think this is a team that could contend for the wild card.

3rd place: Florida Marlins

This is a good, not great, team. SS Hanley Ramirez is one of the game’s best young players. Josh Johnson and Ricky Nolasco are electric starting pitchers. And OF Mike Stanton hits the ball a LOOONNGGG way…when he makes contact. But there are also plenty of questions about Anibal Sanchez’s health, Javier Vazquez’s velocity, Matt Dominguez’s bat, and Chris Coghlan’s CF defense. The Marlins have a chance to be a .500 team heading into their new stadium next year. Which, given the Marlins’ history, is pretty good. Good, not great.

4th place: Washington Nationals

5th place: New York Mets

This is really a coin toss. Both teams are pretty terrible. They both have so-so lineups anchored by stud thirdbasemen (Ryan Zimmerman and David Wright). They both sport so-so pitching staffs whose best pitchers will miss all or most of the 2010 season (Stephen Strasburg and Johan Santana). And both teams will be utterly irrelevant by June. I like the fact that the Nationals are asserting themselves in the free agent market, but they’ll likely have to overpay a couple more Jayson Werth’s to really make a difference. And no amount of money can help fix the broken Mets culture (see Perez, Oliver; Vaughn, Mo; Bonilla, Bobby). I see the Nats winning a few more ball games than the Mets, simply because Jordan Zimmerman is head-and-shoulders better than any other pitcher on either staff. That has to be worth a couple wins.

All-Division Team

C Brian McCann

1B Ryan Howard

2B Dan Uggla

SS Hanley Ramirez

3B Ryan Zimmerman

OF Jayson Werth

OF Shane Victorino

OF Jason Heyward

SP Roy Halladay

SP Cliff Lee

SP Roy Oswalt

SP Josh Johnson

SP Tommy Hanson

Closer Francisco Rodriguez

Manager Charlie Manuel

Posted in Baseball, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Art of Saying No

Posted on March 23, 2011 by Jason

I’m like most people I know: too busy. I’m probably a nerd for doing this, but I begin each Monday morning by diagramming out my week: administrative responsibilities on Monday, meetings and visits to make on Tuesday, classes to teach on Wednesday, etc. It’s really the only way I can keep up with everything; even then, I only survive because of the diligent eye of my wonderful administrative assistant. Inevitably, despite my efforts to manage my time, something always comes up out of the blue to occupy even more of my attention in a given week.

I once heard someone say that when you’re over-committed, you’re really under-committed. I think there’s a lot of truth in that statement, because I’m finding that even though I usually complete all of my “tasks” in a given week, I’m incapable of fully devoting myself to very many of them. In addition to work responsibilities, I’m a husband, a father, a student, a friend, a brother, a tee ball coach, a neighbor, and a citizen. The older I get, the more I’m understanding and appreciating the lost art of saying “No”.

When I was a kid, I heard “No” all the time. I think it was my Dad’s favorite word. Can I go play over at so-and-so’s house? No, you don’t need to do that. Can I go swimming at the neighbor’s house? No, you don’t know how to swim. Can I play Little League baseball? No, you’re not old enough. Once I asked to do something and Dad offered no explanation, just a flat “No”. I pressed him for a reason and this is what he told me: “Because sometimes you just need to be told no.”

Saying no can become a spiritual discipline. It helps remind me that I don’t bear the weight of the world on my shoulders. It reminds me that I’m not the Messiah.
It liberates me from the self-imposed oppression of activity and the false perception that my worth is somehow linked to my busyness. You see the same principle at work in the OT teachings on Sabbath and Jubilee. Sabbath is God’s “No” to the oppressive imperial system of brick-making and dollar-chasing. Jubilee is an assault on our predilection for security. In their own unique way, these ancient teachings remind us of our identity in the cosmos; they remind us of our utter reliance on God (grace) for all of our movements and presences.

What are you saying “No” to?

Here are some practical tips for saying no:

  • Value your time. Be aware of your present commitments and how much time you have to commit to future projects. Keep a daytimer or an online journal to keep up with your meetings and appointments. When someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  • Begin by affirming who you will not say “No” to: your God and your family. Some things are non-negotiable. This is one of them. I will not cheat my God; I will not cheat my wife; and I will not cheat my kids by saying “No” to them. My “Yes” to them determines my “No” to others.
  • Choose the best thing over the good thing. There are plenty of good things to occupy our time. Wisdom requires discerning between the good and the best. Prayerfully reflect on your own gifts and how God can maximize those gifts through the choices you make.
  • Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  • Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
Posted in Dad, Faith, General, Ministry | Tagged , | 1 Comment

The Sermon on the Mount 25

Posted on March 16, 2011 by Jason

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. — Matthew 6.19-21

The Greek language of this text presents a double usage of the word “treasure”. Quite literally, it reads: “Do not treasure up treasures on earth.” Or, we might say, “Do not hoard hoards on earth.” The point is the same. Jesus says our attitude toward wealth and abundance indicates the direction of our heart. The one who invests in earthly possessions as the primary source of fulfillment and worth ends up sorely disappointed when moth and rust come calling. “The lover of money will not be satisfied with money; nor the lover of wealth, with gain. This is also vanity.” (Ecclesiastes 5.10)

I like the study note the ESV Study Bible includes in this section: “The righteousness of the kingdom of heaven works out in the details of one’s personal life.” One of the primary ways the Kingdom life comes to us is through our attitudes regarding material possessions. We have no choice but live as material, embodied creatures; but the degree of emphasis we place on the material world should be tempered by an eschatalogical expectation of something beyond earthly treasures. That is, to these herdsmen and homemakers and fishermen, Jesus is seeking to replace the slavish pursuit of mammon with the liberating, life-giving pursuit of YHWH, His Kingdom, and His righteousness.

This is not to argue in favor of some ethereal Platonic “matter, bad / spirit, good”  disavowing of possessions. It is not to say that material wealth is a bad thing in and of itself. As Stassen notes, “These are not teachings against making a living. They do not reject all possessions; they reject stinginess or greed (treasuring up treasures), hoarding the income for selfish pursuits rather than for serving God and the needs of others.”

One of my good friends who is quite wealthy likes to say, “It all belongs to God anyway. We’re just down here moving it around.” I like that, because my friend is getting at the heart of Jesus’ teaching here. He’s learned the value of using earthly treasure to store up treasure in heaven.

It is no accident that this friend of mine is one of the most generous people I know.

It is also no accident that he is one of the most joyful people I know.

Posted in Gospel, Jesus, Kingdom Values, Sermon on the Mount, Stewardship | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Long Time

Posted on March 14, 2011 by Jason

So it’s been a long time since I’ve written much here. As I said in my last post, I spent several days in Cuba on a mission trip. It’s also been extremely busy for me since I’ve been back: we’re getting ready for T-ball, we’ve started working in the yard some, and I’ve also started preparing for my classes that start back up again in the fall. So, yeah, things have been pretty busy around here.

But I haven’t forgotten about the blog. In fact, there are lots of things I want to write about here. Here are a few of the random posts you can expect in the near future here:

  • It’s March, so you know what that means: time for my annual MLB reviews and predictions. Last March, I all but predicted the Giants’ improbable title run. (Actually, I think I said they had enough pitching to contend for the division crown. But still.) Predictions will begin this week.
  • It’s also time for another media review. Lately I’ve been listening to some great new music from Iron & Wine and The Civil Wars. Preview forthcoming.
  • Another installment of my Sermon on the Mount series.
  • I’ve also been doing a lot of reading lately re: the Minor Prophets. I’ll be posting some material on Habakkuk and Amos soon.

Until then, quick recap of our time in Cuba. Much like our trip to South Africa, I left Cuba with a deep appreciation for the faithfulness of God’s people in difficult circumstances. The times of worship we enjoyed with our Cuban brothers and sisters were inspirational. The men of Cuba sing with wholehearted vigor, which is a little different from our worship experiences here in the States. But I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share some time with these dear brothers and sisters. I’m already looking forward to visiting with them again.

Posted in Blogging, General | 5 Comments

Home Again

Posted on March 5, 2011 by Jason

You’ve probably noticed things have been a little slow here on the ol’ blog. That’s because I’ve been out of the country for the past week or so. I’ll give a bit of an update later. Just wanted to knock the dust off that’s collected here for the past week. More to write later!

Posted in Blogging, General | Leave a comment

Guest Post: Cindi Bradley

Posted on February 23, 2011 by Jason

Cindi Bradley is one of the best writers I know. I first met Cindi about 10 years ago when she moved back to the Huntsville area. I’ve always had an appreciation for Cindi’s family; her Dad, Gary, has been our preacher at Mayfair for over 30 years. Nearly 5 years ago, I moved out of youth ministry to serve as our church’s Associate Minister under Gary’s tutelage. Of the MANY things I’ve learned from Gary, one truth stands head and shoulders above the rest: LOVE YOUR FAMILY. If you need evidence that Gary has “practiced what he’s preached” over the years, you need look no further than his children. Cindi is a gifted speaker; she’s spoken at ladies conferences and workshops around the country for many years. But she also shares her devotional thoughts in a regular series of “Monday Thoughts” which she emails out to people around the country. Cindi has an uncommon ability to articulate her love for God and love for others through the written word. I keep telling her that she ought to publish some of these thoughts someday. Until that day comes, I wanted to give you just a sampling of her tremendous gifts. This is her latest “Monday Thought” from this week. With her permission, I’m sharing it with you all today. May it bless you like it blessed me. Enjoy!

(By the way, if you’re interested in being added to Cindi’s “Monday Thoughts” email list, let me know and I’ll pass your email address on to her.)

_______________

Monday Thoughts
February 21, 2011

Philippians 4:8

Who says the beach is only for summer days?  NOT ME!   That’s why my best friend, Melisa and I give no hesitation to throwing our beach chairs in the car and running down to Destin, Florida even in the dead of winter.  This past weekend was an ideal time to celebrate her upcoming birthday and relax a day or two.

Evidently, we managed to pick a weekend when God decided He, too was tired of cold, snowy, dreary days.  February 19th felt more like May 19th as we sat in our chairs and soaked the sun.  No need for a sweater, no need for hats and gloves, no need to warm up the car before you pull out of the drive- the only thing we didn’t pack enough of was sunscreen.  Swimsuits, shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops were the attire of the day.  Amazingly, children ran to the water with their boogie boards and gave no thought to jumping right in as if it were the middle of July.

While in Destin, Melisa and I never have to spend a lot of time deciding where to eat dinner.  Dewey Destin’s Seafood is our absolute favorite restaurant not only for the great scenery but for the absolute best seafood anywhere on the Gulf coast.  Dewey is a “local” so his seafood is from the area and is very fresh.  Nothing fancy about the ambiance but that’s what we like about it.  You sit at a picnic table and your food comes in a plastic basket.  If you want more sweet tea, you get up and get it yourself.

After a restful day of soaking the warm sunshine, we made our way down Highway 98 to the Destin Harbor.  We had discussed previously how we wanted to get there in time to watch the sun go down over the Choctawatchee Bay and let me tell you, that’s a sight that can never be put into words.  Watching that has got to confuse any atheist.  Simply BEAUTIFUL-and based on the number of people who were facing the bay, they appreciated the beauty as much as we did.

Melisa and I walked out on the pier and tried to take as many pictures as we could before the sun dropped beyond the horizon.  While standing there, a lady commented on the scenery and asked me if we had ever been there before.  I answered her and ended up striking up a conversation.  She was from up north- a snow bird and forgoing a long cold winter in Michigan for the sunny skies of Florida.  I was wearing a shirt I had bought as a souvenir from New York so she asked, “You girls from New York?”  I almost had to laugh and respectfully answered, “No ma’am.”

She chuckled and said, “Well, you sure don’t sound like you’re from New York.  Where are you from?”

In a slow southern drawn I jokingly answered, “MICHIGAN!”  But, she knew I was being silly.  “She lives in Birmingham and I’m from Huntsville, Alabama.”

Then she said, “You didn’t have to tell me.  I was going to guess Alabama because you couldn’t pass for a Yankee if you tried.”

My accent gave me away.  No way I could convince her that I hailed from anywhere else but the Deep South.

Later that night, I was recalling that conversation and was reminded of a time in the Bible when an accent blew Peter’s cover.  Remember when Jesus had been arrested and Peter was standing out in the courtyard?  He tried his best to be “incognito” as he warmed his hands by the fire.(Luke 22:55)  He just wanted to blend in with the crowd and not be recognized.  But, all Peter had to do is open his mouth and he was in trouble.  A young girl recognized him but he quickly denied, “Not me. I don’t know him.”

The NIV and other translations read, “Sure you were with him.  Your speech gives you away.”  I like the King James reading of the verse: “Thy speech betrayeth thee.”  I don’t know enough about the language to understand but obviously, there are various dialects and accents in Aramaic just as there is in the English language.

“Your speech gives you away.”  Kind of scary, isn’t it?  My accent is a clear indication that I’m from the South but are there indicators that I’m a Christian?  Does my speech give me away?  It’s an interesting cycle- Jesus said in Matthew 6:21, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Later in Matthew 12:34, He says, “For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

That tells me what’s in our hearts is what’s most important to us.  Also, what’s in our hearts is eventually going come out of our mouths.  Conclusion: we talk about what’s most important to us.  We tell our story with our words and our conversations.  We pull the curtain back and give a clear view of the window to our hearts when we open our mouths.

Do I find it easy to share what’s on my heart?  Do I allow Jesus to occupy my heart so much that I can’t help but talk about Him and share Him with others.  I love the story in Mark 5 of the crazy guy yelling and screaming at the Apostles and Jesus.  He was the guy possessed by all those demons and Jesus cast them out of him sending them into the pigs.  After being in his right mind he begged Jesus to include him in His group.  Jesus told him,  “No.  Go back to your family and tell them what the Lord has done for you.”

Rather simple instruction.  Just tell what the Lord has done for you.  Make him part of your conversation.  Make His will so important to you that you can’t help but make it obvious every time you open your mouth.
Who are you?  Whose are you?  What matters most to you?  Just say a few words- it eventually will be very obvious.

Cindi A. Bradley

Posted in Devotional, Discipleship, Friends, Scripture | Tagged , | 2 Comments

God…With Scars

Posted on February 22, 2011 by Jason

I’ve always felt that Thomas gets a bad rep. We call him “Doubting Thomas” because of one momentary lapse of demanding “proof” of Jesus’ resurrection. In his defense, he wasn’t there when all of other disciples had this great resurrection experience with Jesus. I guess I’ve always had sympathy for the guy; I just know I wouldn’t want to be remembered for my worst moment.

I’ve always been fascinated by the account in John 20 when Thomas finally does see Jesus. The risen Christ implores Thomas to reach out and touch Him. It’s as if Jesus is saying to Thomas, “I know you need something a little tactile here, so go ahead. Whatever it takes for you to believe.” And I find this comforting, because there are times in my life when I, too, need a little tactile reinforcement from God. Sure, there are times when we accept His promises at face value, end of story. But there are other times, at least in my own faith, when I like to see God’s handiwork. I like to know He’s present. I like to see an answered prayer. I like to see evidence of His goodness, His glory. Like Thomas, I have an inclination to want to see, to touch, to feel in order to believe.

But there’s also something beautifully understated in John’s retelling of the story. Although Jesus appears bodily to Thomas and beseeches Him to touch His side, Thomas never does. For Thomas, you get the impression that it was enough for Jesus to make the effort. Jesus appears, addressing Thomas’ doubts and reservations, and all Thomas knows to do is to fall to his knees and confess, “My Lord and my God!”

I could be wrong, but I’ve always pictured Jesus’ post-Easter body as being covered in scars. I imagine Thomas seeing the scars on Christ’s wrists and side and those scars tell the story of incredible love and hope, validating the history-altering message of Christ’s Gospel. For Thomas, I believe the scars helped make it true.

But we might ask, “How does Jesus have scars?” Or, more precisely, “How does Jesus have scars yet?” If you and I had been nailed to a cross, after three days we wouldn’t have scars; we would still have wounds. Yet, Jesus has been glorified; he has been raised from the dead. His glorified body is the firstfruits of the resurrection, an indicator of the kind of bodies we all will receive in eternity. And yet, even in His glorified state, Jesus still has scars.

And in a weird way, I find this comforting, too. Why? Because scars are indicators that healing has occurred. And healing is an indication of God’s power to redeem and restore. Therefore, these scars become permanent reminders of the power and glory of God Almighty. And as I look back over my own life, I can see the scars I’ve accumulated over the years. And just like Thomas, the scars help make it true for me, too. In my scars, I find the One who gives purpose to my pain. I find the One who binds up my wounds (Psalm 147.3), the One whose wounds bring me healing (Isa 53.5). My scars can never measure up to His, but it’s comforting to know He has them, too.

Jesus is God…with scars.

And like Thomas, I can worship a God like that. “My Lord and my God!” Indeed.

Posted in Devotional, Faith, Jesus, Scripture | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Tragic

Posted on February 18, 2011 by Jason

The lead news story here in Alabama has to do with Harvey Updike, Jr., a Dadeville, AL resident charged with poisoning the 130-year-old trees at Toomer’s Corner in Auburn. It seems that Updike, a Bama fan, was fed up with Auburn’s Heisman-winning, national championship season and decided to take matters in his own hands by striking at the heart of the most iconic locale on campus. No less than 12 minutes of last night’s local half-hour news broadcast focused on this “tragedy”. (Seriously, the words “tragedy”, “grieving”, and “mourning” were used. Perspective, people.)

The national sports media has been focusing on Albert Pujols’ self-imposed deadline for a contract extension with my beloved St. Louis Cardinals, a deadline that passed without a new deal for the slugger commonly acknowledged as the best player in the game today. The Cardinals still have an exclusive negotiating window with Pujols after the season, but this increases the probability that Albert will hit the open market as a free agent this fall, making him available to any club with pockets deep enough to sign him. The Yankees, the Red Sox, the Angels, the Dodgers and (gasp!) even the Cubs are rumored to have interest. Cardinal Nation is understandably distraught.

But the same dose of perspective is necessary here. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve wasted reading all about these contract negotiations, hoping that news would break that the Cards and Pujols had agreed to a long term deal. It’s just hard to get worked up over a ball player turning down a $200 million contract to play a game, even if he is your son’s favorite player and the face of your favorite ball team. It won’t be “tragic” or a “travesty” if Pujols decides to don pinstripes next year when the Yanks offer him a boatload of cash. (Now, Pujols in a Cub jersey? THAT would be tragic. Just kidding.)

In the mail yesterday, I received a free copy of Rich Stearns’ The Hole In Our Gospel. Stearns, a former corporate CEO and current President of World Vision, argues for a holistic gospel that most evangelical Christians fail to emphasize, a gospel of good news for the poor, the orphaned, and the forgotten. By asking the question “What does God expect of us?”, Stearns presents a whole gospel that moves us beyond altar call “pie in the sky by and by” forms of Christianity to a vibrant engagement with the world to live the Kingdom of God in the present.

If you want to know what “tragic” means, read The Hole In Our Gospel.

  • Children die each day because they don’t have access to clean drinking water.
  • An entire generation in Africa is being orphaned because of the HIV / AIDS pandemic sweeping across the continent.
  • Young girls and women continue to be exploited, forced into the sex trafficking industry by false promises of security and provision.

Now, that’s tragic.

Sorry for being all “preachy” here, but I’m just convicted that a dose of perspective goes a long, long way sometimes.

Posted in Books, Gospel, Sports, St. Louis Cardinals | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Free NIV 2010 Update

Posted on February 15, 2011 by Jason

40 different translations.

20 different languages.

Over 10 million downloads.

Yes, I’m talking about the YouVersion Bible App.

The idea is really a simple one: put a Bible (in digital form) in the hands of as many people as possible. Thanks to the good folks over at LifeChurch.tv, millions of people have access to Scripture on their iPhone, iPad, BlackBerry, Android, Symbian, Windows or any web-enabled phone. Best of all, YouVersion is 100% free. (Is there such a thing as 50% free?)

Also, for the next few weeks, you can download a free copy of the NIV 2010 Update directly to your iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch or Android device. Downloading the NIV means you’ll be able to read it anytime, anywhere—even when you can’t connect to your service provider or the Internet. YouVersion also has some great Daily Bible Reading plans to help you with that New Year’s Resolution to read more Scripture. (It’s Day 47 of the New Year. How’s your devotional life?) Here are the links you’ll need:

YouVersion.com

YouVersion Mobile

YouVersion on Facebook

Posted in Scripture | Tagged , | Leave a comment

The Song Remembers When: Sunny

Posted on February 13, 2011 by Jason

I’ve always had this memory association thing with music. I don’t claim to have the best memory in the world, but I can remember certain events / periods in my life based on the music I was listening to at the time. With the Grammys set to begin in a few hours, I want to begin a new series on some of my favorite songs and the memories associated with them.

In the fall of 1996, I was a sophomore at Lipscomb. Sunny and I had been dating a little over a year but we still hadn’t said those three important words: “I” and “love” and “you” (to borrow from the Avett Brothers). Our relationship developed so organically; while I was a freshman at Lipscomb, Sunny was finishing up her Senior year of high school. I credit this is one of the reasons our relationship endured. We didn’t do the silly high school / college relationship thing where you begin dating someone and you start smothering each other instantly. We talked on the phone a lot and we saw each other on the weekends, but we were also able to retain our friendships by refusing to lose our identities in our newfound dating relationship.

After Sunny graduated, she accepted a scholarship to Freed-Hardeman University in Henderson, Tennessee. Freed is a great school, but it became pretty obvious to both of us that our relationship was really going somewhere and we were both bummed that we’d have to continue the long-distance thing. Sunny didn’t have a car at the time, so if we were going to see each other, I’d have to drive my little Honda Accord back and forth between Nashville and Henderson. Of course, I didn’t mind at all. (In those pre-cell phone days, I amassed quite a long distance bill that semester, too, which I also didn’t mind.)

Looking back, I’m sure most people thought we were a little antiquated by not saying “I love you” sooner than we did. But we both took those things seriously and neither of us had any desire to play games with each other by preemptively going there. Besides, ours was more of an old-fashioned courtship anyway. So we were content to see each other when we could & talk on the phone every day. But we both knew something was about to change.

I can’t remember exactly when I knew I loved Sunny. The same thing is true of the other great loves of my life, too. I can’t remember “falling in love” with baseball or God or church…it just sort of happened. Same thing is true of my love for Sunny. I rode with her whole family to Henderson to move her in for her first semester. I remember Sunny fighting back the tears as the moment came for us to say goodbye. The car ride home was like driving home from a funeral. I remember we stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way home. We were seated at a table, Sunny’s grandparents on one end, her parents in the middle, and me down on the end. When Sunny’s grandmother looked down and saw the empty chair across from me, she reflexively said, “Oh, look! That’s where Sunny would be sitting if she were here with us!” Everyone started bawling their eyes out.

A few weekends later, I was back in Henderson. All week long, Sunny kept telling me she had something she wanted to tell me. At first, I was worried. What, did she meet some other guy? I know how upperclassmen are when the freshmen girls show up on campus. But she kept insisting that it was something good, so my fears were put to rest. I showed up and met her in her dorm lobby. I can still remember what she was wearing and the HUGE grin that was on her face when I came in the door. At that moment, she never looked more beautiful to me.

I don’t remember what we did that night or where we went. It never really mattered to us, as long as we were together. I just remember the end of the night when it was time for me to drop her off and drive back to Nashville. We’d been avoiding the “thing she needed to tell me” all night, so I decided to press her on it. She said she wanted to tell me something, but she wanted to know if I had anything I wanted to tell her first. When it came to the moment of vulnerability, she wasn’t going to let me off the hook without going first.

"Let It Be" by The Beatles

The Beatles’ “Let It Be” was playing on my CD player in that moment. It’s always been one of my favorite songs. Supposedly, McCartney wrote it after a dream about his deceased mother. The line about “Mother Mary” is a reference to his mother’s presence in this dream and her message to her son was the genesis of the song: “It will be all right; just let it be.” I’d always found comfort in this, having lost my own mother just a few years earlier. The thought of communing with her again was balm for my pain.

But looking back, I can trace the ways Sunny’s presence has made up for the loss of my own mother. I’ve told my story many times, but after Mom died, I was a lost and angry young man. I’m not proud to say I gave up on love — the love of God, the love of others — and, consequently, I was withdrawn and emotionally distant. It was just easier that way, less risky. Maybe that’s the reason I didn’t tell Sunny how I felt sooner; I really don’t know. But sitting there in that car, as much as maybe I’d resisted it, I knew that I loved this girl. And it was time to tell her as much.

Jason & Sunny, Fall 2010

I went first. Sunny later said she’d never seen me so nervous. But I cleared my throat and told her I loved her. And she smiled that beautiful smile and received my love. And she loved me, too.

And every day since, I’ve been waking up to the sound of her music as she sings that same song, over and over again.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Sunny.

Posted in Blessings, Family, Music, Sunny | Tagged , | 3 Comments